Blind Faith
by Sobriquett
Summary: A local radio station runs a blind date competition where the lucky couple meet on their wedding day. Edward and Bella, shy but independent, are deemed a scientifically perfect match, but how does that work out in reality? AU, AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Blind Faith**

**Disclaimer**

_Twilight_ and its characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended and all creative rights to these characters belong to their original author. No profit is being made from this story.

Based very loosely on a true story, shamelessly extrapolated and mutilated and moved to the other side of the Atlantic.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Edward's whole life was inside the bulging yellow envelope.

It looked so unassuming, labelled with Jacob Black's name and work address in his brother's lopsided spider-crawl print, antithetically thin black ink on a scuffed white sticker. The stamp wasn't straight either, so maybe – hopefully, perhaps? - they'd just throw it aside when they saw it. Inside, however, was his life and personality in a series of indecipherable tests and prolix statements of values, aspirations, hobbies. It was somewhere between a job application and a gross invasion of privacy. What if they _published_ it? Still, the temptation to just send it and see what happens...

Edward knocked back one last drink with a grimace as he stared at it, poised over the far edge of the coffee table. _I'll think about it._ Sufficiently relaxed, he abandoned the envelope on the table by the front door and left for another compulsory, torturous family dinner with his brother, parents and ever delightful sister-in-law.

*

Dozing in a folding chair at work two days earlier, he'd heard Jake Black talk over the end of one of his current favourite tracks. No customer had been in for at least – he glanced at the clock – twenty-five minutes, and normally he would amuse himself with the radio, slumped in the chair, occasionally sorting new stock to look busy when his eyelids began to droop.

"Well, ladies and gents, here at Howlin' FM we've got a very exciting new 'opportunity' for you all." Edward's ears twitched and he slouched forward, staring at the decade-old radio on the counter as if it had lips to read. It was only the host's irritatingly frequent laugh that diverted his gaze into the palm now over his eyes.

"We're running a blind-date style competition with a very different twist... If you're one half of our lucky couple, you're going to meet your dream partner on your wedding day, and then enjoy a lovely, complimentary two week honeymoon, just the two of you."

Edward snorted as he stood and shuffled a box of stock from under the counter with his feet, but kept listening anyway. It was this kind of entertainment that put a smirk on his face even on days like this.

"Now, we're not just going to randomly pair you up and leave you to it. No, we've got fifteen _scientific_ personality tests for you and a horde of psychologists to assess and match you, and our strongest match will be getting hitched at the end of next month. So, for all of you singletons out there, head over our website and grab the forms. I, myself, am entering, of course... Deadline's June 7th, however, so get going – you've only got three weeks. Now, up next..."

Jake Black continued to speak over the intro and Edward recognised it instantly. It was not one of his favourites, and something about DJs chattering over music grated on his nerves. He had slumped down into the chair again, abandoning the box, and was adjusting the dial to another station when the bell over the front door rang and he glanced up, expecting more teenagers to intimidate considering the hour. Dragging himself to his feet, Edward groaned and stretched his arms up to push out a loose ceiling tile, showcasing his height, then hauled the box – and an official looking clipboard – into the section with the kids and actually worked.

Sometimes he hated his job.

*

Of course, he wasn't the only person to hear about Howlin FM's contest. His brother was pounding on the door of Edward's apartment not so long after midnight that night; technically, it was the next morning, as he grumbled to himself. Looking through the peephole, he slammed a palm into the door with a soft thud.

"Emmett," Edward said, trying to singe him with a glare that would bugger toast as well as he managed every morning.

"Rose is out," Emmett said. He shrugged and stepped inside. "You work tonight, don't you?"

"No, not tonight, you twat." Emmett grinned; Edward was his younger brother and he had never grown used to adult Edward's occasional cursing, although he was used to Edward's grouchiness at night. He slept only when he needed to and was used to doing things as and when he wanted. He had always been the same; his need for his own independent routine was unnerving. "I was about to go to bed. Make it quick."

"I thought you did."

"No. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. Tonight was my night off."

"Sorry, man." Emmett clapped Edward on the back as he passed and Edward stalked after him, leaving the door open.

Emmett made a beeline for the kitchen as Edward sprawled out over the couch in resignation, fists balled over his eyes as the kitchen light flooded the living room with a square of bright, gelid pain. "So what did you want, apart from a chat? I'm opening the store in the morning, so it had better be quick."

"It's not like you sleep anyway. You're fucking nocturnal, kid."

"If you work 'til midnight at night and start at eight the next morning, you sleep in between. I was nocturnal _once_, when I wasn't working."

"You're a waster, man. I've caught you dozing at work before. But that's not the point. Well, it kinda is. Anyway, did you hear about that Howlin' contest?"

_Oh, shit._ "Of course I did. Record store, forty-plus hours a week? Yeah. I heard. What about it?"

"I think you should enter." Emmett's silhouette appeared in the square light and Edward squinted. He appeared to be eating; Edward couldn't discern what. He hadn't realised there was even food in there.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's... _wrong_. It's for-"

"Don't give me your romantic bullshit about true love and lifelong marriage and the happily ever after. If you're so right about all of this, how come you're lonely?"

"I'm not lonely. And anyway, it's not about _romance-_" He almost spat the word. "- or whatever. It's _definitely _not for me."

"You are lonely. I don't know anyone else as bad as you for completely avoiding people. You live in this apartment, work two jobs and cram your free hours with compositions and gigs where you turn up, play, have one perfunctory drink, and leave. You only ever talk to me, Mom, Dad and Rose. You need to get out. You're a good guy, you have a lot going for you. You just don't do people." He thrust a handful of slightly dog-eared pages at his brother who snatched them away just to get him to stop the rustling as they were shaken up and down. "Fill them in. Seriously, kid, what's the worst that could happen?"

"It's a hoax and my whiny life story is poured onto the internet for all to see?" Emmett raised an eyebrow. It was too delicate a gesture, it seemed out of place. Edward idly wondered if it was borrowed from Emmett's wife. He shook the thought of wives away. "Anyway, it's not as if I'm frigid."

Emmett guffawed, his hulking form leaning forward in the chair he dwarfed. "No," he spluttered at last, "but that's not love either. Just do it. It's worth it."

Edward dropped the papers on the floor and stretched his arms up behind his head. "Bullshit. Go home, Emmett. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Yeah. 'Night, cranky." Keeping his eyes closed, Edward reached for a magazine off the coffee table and hurled it at his brother. Emmett laughed again. "Missed, kid. Maybe you should work on your aim, not your beauty sleep."

"It's not beauty sleep after midnight. If I'm not careful I'll turn into you."

"You wish. 'Night then, Sleeping not-so-Beauty."

"That doesn't make sense."

Emmett was already gone, and Edward's head was suddenly spinning so fast he would either sleep right there or have no hope of sleep at all. Stepping over the papers on the floor when he could no longer hear Emmett thundering down the stairs, apparently oblivious to the hour, he headed for his keyboard.

Four hours later, he was back in his living room armchair, scowling at those unassuming and now even more dog-eared sheets, still on the floor between last Tuesday's newspaper and a broken CD case. He picked up all three and discarded them appropriately – the newspaper with the rest of the stack, the CD to one of the endless shelves across the longest wall and the forms into his bag for work in three hours and twenty-eight minutes. He had worked himself into the state where something more than strong coffee and mind-numbing stock work would be needed to get him through the day.

Curled up in bed ten minutes and a hot shower later, Edward was still shivering. Maybe Emmett was right. Something was missing.

What did he have to lose?

*

Work the next morning was _dull_. There were just four customers before midday and he had already meticulously stocked and restocked most of the sections. Emmett appeared again at one and Edward tried to hide the papers as fast as he could but it took less than seconds for Emmett to be leering over the counter, not even long enough for Edward's brain to command his arms to at the very least turn the papers over.

"Hey, look who's filling in the forms!"

"Shut up." Edward shuffled them away anyway. Something about getting caught doing it made him feel... wrong. He pushed that away for later thought.

"I thought you might. Good for you, kid. I hope you get it, although God knows what Mom would say. Then again, she doesn't have to know, and she would be so happy if you were..." Edward glared. Emmett read it for exactly what it was – impatience; Edward's own time was being invaded again. If he left now, his plan would work better. "Anyway, I just came to tell you that dinner's tomorrow night not Sunday this week."

"Why?"

Emmett shrugged. "Just is. I told them you didn't work Fridays... or Wednesdays." He had the decency to look sheepish, but there was still evidence of a smirk.

"Couldn't give me more notice, could they? It's good I'm not playing this Friday, isn't it?"

"Look, it's tomorrow at seven. If you're not there..." Emmett paused. He adjusted his jacket. "Just be there. And get those forms finished."

Edward stood to get the door for him with a polite but sardonic nod. Without a word, Emmett gave a little wave, grinned and left. The day didn't get better for Edward. Neither did the next.

*

Edward hadn't even made it up to his parents' porch steps when Rosalie appeared before the closed front door and blocked his path.

"Yes?" he asked with a grimace that had almost been intended as a smile. They were adults. They could be civil... sometimes.

"I have good news tonight. If you whine and moan and bitch like normal, then I'll give you something to really bitch about. Okay?"

Edward shrugged. "You want silence, then?"

"No. Don't upset Esme. For Christ's sakes, Edward, could you not, you know, be _normal_ for a night?"

He rolled his eyes. "My mother has coped with my moods for nearly thirty years. She knows how to deal with me."

"Yes, but she shouldn't have to. As you say, you're nearly thirty. As Emmett would say, you need to get laid; my stipulation of that romantic and admirable notion is that it should be regularly and by the _same girl_, but I'm not sure I'd wish your angst-ridden presence on anyone."

"Thanks, Rose. It's nice to see you too. Excuse me." As he stepped up, Rose moved aside and let him pass.

"Mom?" Edward called as he crossed the threshold, leaving the door open for his sister-in-law. He was approaching the kitchen when Esme appeared in a flurry of caramel curls and smiling eyes and wrapped him in the most absorbing embrace she could manage from inches below him. Edward squeezed her back and lifted her slightly off her feet. Her squeal made Edward's own face light up in return. Only his mother could evoke such a response from him. At the sound of his father entering the room, Esme pulled away and her smile faded slightly. She traced under her youngest son's eyes with her finger.

"You look tired, Edward. Are you looking after yourself?"

Edward's smile grew wistful too. "Yes, Mom. Still recovering from Emmett's-" he glanced behind him. Rose was still outside. "-midnight visit. Did he tell you about that?"

"Yes. What was he doing at your apartment at that time?"

Edward floundered. He couldn't tell her about the contest, not even now that he was really considering it. _Especially_ now.

Emmett saved the day. "I told you, Mom. I thought he worked Wednesday so he'd just be getting home. Rose was out, I was bored."

Esme smiled again and hurried over to the stove where her husband was stirring away at something. She slapped his hand.

"Carlisle, your son is here and you take over the stirring for me? Shame on you. You've not seen him for a week."

Esme didn't realise that Edward met his father for lunch every Tuesday before his shift at the hospital and during Edward's break to discuss his life without a mother's idealism and endless praise. Dr. Cullen was more pragmatic. Between the two of them, Edward believed he could not have had better parents. They would have been the perfect example for him if he had children, but...

That was one more reason _not_ to try his luck in the contest. Perhaps it was worth adding as a note, for fairness' sake. Edward managed not to think about it any more, but it would hardly be fair. He would have to add it as a note. Then he caught himself acting as if he were going to enter and tried to physically shake his head clear, brushing the thoughts away with fingers through his hair, but his father gripped his hand and pulled him into a one-armed hug. He held it just long enough to murmur in Edward's ear, "Brighten up; we can talk about it later if you have to."

Edward pulled away. "What?

"That," he said, nodding at his son's face. He mimicked it, then laughed. Edward did too, weakly, until Rose returned and sat beside Emmett, taking his hand and thumbing his wedding band as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"What on earth have you done to already have Carlisle so... _depressed_?"

Emmett looked at his wife. "Um, they're laughing, Rose? That's not depression... I mean, even Edward's laughing." She clipped him around the ear. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Carlisle moved back over to his wife. "Just pulling faces at Edward."

Emmett contorted his face into a shape that shouldn't have been possible. Everyone except Rose laughed now, but when Edward looked at them he withdrew to the farthest corner and folded himself into a chair, chin in hands again. The others were the picture of perfection, father's arms wrapped around mother's waist, son's arm around his wife's shoulders.

Then there was the bronze-haired boy in the corner, shrinking his lanky frame into as small a shape as possible and looking on, lonely and-

He caught himself. Emmett was right. Lonely.

After half-watching the two couples snuggle up together for another minute - about as long as Edward could stand - he vanished into the hall in search of the piano. His apartment would only hold a keyboard, so this was, aside from his parents, the only thing that brought him back week after week. The feel of real keys, actual ivory over spruce on an antique instrument instead of the impersonal plastic covering on modern keys, convinced him – he berated himself for the sentiment – that he was more connected to this instrument, knowing it had been played by his mother and who knew how many other relatives, than he ever could be with his Yamaha keyboard or any piano of his own he ever managed to save and make room for.

He sat down on the stool and reverently stroked his fingertips across two octaves' keys, then played a quiet trial chord or two. Then, tossing aside all conscious thought, he launched straight into a piece, one of his own compositions, lugubrious and lingering.

"You sound a little off today, Edward," his mother said from the doorway. "Was it the meter? Are you okay?"

He nodded, still playing, pounding the keys now where he had merely crept over them before. "Fine." When she neither answered nor moved, he had to speak again. "It's the meter. I had a little to drink before I came. Not too much, but a little. You know I normally only play sober."

"I just like you to play." She stepped alongside him and tangled a hand in his hair. "Dinner's ready, whenever you are." Kissing her son on the temple, Esme temporarily dissolved his angst enough for him to bring the piece to a premature close and smile up at her.

"Thank you."

He stood and offered his arm, leading her back to the dining room where pulled out her seat with a flourish. She beamed.

Sitting between his parents at the ends, Emmett and Rosalie on the other side, Edward felt as isolated as he was content to be alone. This contradiction had never bothered him before tonight.

"So, how are things, Edward? Have you written anything new recently?"

He glanced up the table at his father who was raising a forkful of roast lamb to his mouth, eyes trained on Edward.

"Yes."

"That one you were playing earlier?"

"I started it a few days ago. It's not finished."

He nodded. The melancholy of the piece was transparent to Carlisle but he wouldn't ask about the inspiration there. It would wait until their Tuesday lunch.

"And how's work?"

"Alright," he said, and it wasn't a lie. It was the same generic answer he gave everything. Nothing had really changed in the last five years on his side of the table, even though there was now a beautiful woman on his brother's side, Esme's eyes were framed by deeper crinkles when she smiled and Carlisle was sporting a little grey at his temples.

"They're hardly difficult jobs," Rosalie contributed.

Emmett jumped to Edward's defence, as well as he could against his wife – distraction, not disagreement. "Rosie, we have news, don't we?" His wife's face twisted into an expression Edward had not seen for years - excitement, nerves, euphoria. It was her wedding face. Edward had watched her face very closely that day.

"Yes. I'm - _we're_ - pregnant." She clasped Emmett's hand on top of the table and Esme jumped to her feet, rushing round to embrace her daughter-in-law. As Esme and Rosalie were distracted with squeals, hugs and details, and Carlisle by watching their antics, Edward furrowed his brows at Emmett. He shrugged with a smirk.

Edward jerked upright and nodded stiffly. "Congratulations," he muttered. "And thank you for dinner, Mom, but I have to work tomorrow, so I should go."

Esme released Rosalie and glanced at him, concerned. "Work, tomorrow? On a Saturday? I thought you always took Saturday off."

"Yes..." he lied. "But not this week. I need the money."

"Are you alright with everything, honey? Rent, car payments, utilities? Do you need help?"

He shook his head, eyes still on the plate in his shaky grasp, gravy trickling dangerously over the sides, and left quickly on uneven feet with mutterings about saving for something special, leaving the plate beside the kitchen sink and grabbing his coat. He was at the front door when he heard clicking heels. Stopping to pull the raincoat on despite the unusually cloudless summer sky, he gave Esme time to appear at his side and put one hand on his arm, her other arm around his waist.

"Don't worry about it, Edward. It's not your fault."

"I know, but-"

"No buts. You'll find somebody yourself some day soon and be just as happy as your Emmett and Rose or your father and I. You're a good boy, and a good-looking one, and so talented. One day not so far from now some helpless girl is going to fall head over for heels for you." She smiled. "Mother's intuition."

He shook his head but smiled regardless and pulled her into another hug, feeling her cheek pull up against his chest. "Thank you, Mom. I love you."

She kissed his cheek. "And I love you, but you need more than just a mother's love. But go on, get home and call me soon."

He squeezed her hand and left as quickly as he could without appearing rude.

*

Returning home, he realised that the drinks that had seemed so smart before, and the additional two glasses of wine with dinner, had only left him in an unbreakable melancholy.

Looking around the apartment didn't help either; it was nearly as messy as it was allowed to get before somebody in the family would intervene. As ever, the CDs were immaculately organised and only one or two favourites were off the shelves, but everything else lay where it had been discarded as Edward spared very little time to clear up. The fact that the carpet wasn't its original colour for dust and that some of the newspapers were now as grey as they had been black and white did little to ease his mood.

A very bad case of the megrims, his parents would have called it.

Before pouring it out through his abused keyboard again – he had yet to manage to save for a proper piano and didn't have room regardless – he decided to bite the bullet. Scooping up the papers and throwing his unsurprisingly wet coat down in its place he sprinted in one burst from his apartment to post the letter and back inside again before the CD playing switched to a new track.

Back inside he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his face into both hands, running them back and then holding them on the top of his head, flicking through his internal catalogue of music for something happy – anything to chase off this infernal self-pity. There was nothing.

It seemed as good an occasion as any to compose his own.

*

Three monotonous weeks later, Edward burst into his apartment on a Monday evening to forage for food, shower, change and get back out to work. Flicking through his mail as he crossed the apartment, he threw it to one side as unimportant, flicked on the kettle, showered faster than he could ever remember, dressed as he stumbled back into the kitchen, pulled more than necessary from the cupboards into a heap on the floor, kicked the debris aside, made an instant meal and a coffee, drained them, scalded the inside of his mouth and glanced at his watch.

His inhuman speed getting ready for work meant he could reward himself with listening to a week's answer phone messages. Well, half-listening. He went back to his mail for a more useful perusal.

The third message, however, certainly caught his attention. It seized it by the cuff of the neck and lifted it six inches from the ground. Edward's head spun.

"Hi, Mr. Cullen. This is Seth Clearwater from Howlin' FM. I'm calling to congratulate you on your upcoming nuptials. Give me a call back as soon as you can, we have lots to discuss." Edward, dazed and light-headed, scrambled for a pen to take his number and just about wrote it down on his arm, although he wasn't sure if the seventh digit was a three or a five. His skin hurt. Then he stared with wide eyes at the machine until the message ended with Seth Clearwater's congratulations again and Esme's voice took over.

"Edward, it's Mom. You didn't call back, if you don't call me back soon I'm going to come over and-"

He left the apartment with that fourth message still playing. It would wait. As he hurried down the stairs, coat half on, he keyed in Seth's number from his unclothed arm, and dialled. It rang three times.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Seth Clearwater? You called me, and-"

"Edward Cullen?"

"Yes." Edward had twisted his other arm into the coat and was adjusting it, phone held between his ear and shoulder.

"Nice to finally speak to you, man. So, first off, congratulations."

"Thanks." Edward stilled, dragging the word out. He even stopped in the street. This was real, wasn't it?

"You don't sound too happy. Bad time?"

"No. Like you said, there's a lot to discuss."

"Well, where would you like to start? The bride, the itinerary, the paperwork or general questions?"

"That order sounds good."

Seth laughed. "Alright. Can't tell you about the girl, unfortunately. Part of the premise, the surprise. I'll check with Sam about how much I can tell you, but what would you like to know if I can talk?"

He pondered, switching ears to pull the other sleeve on. "Name and age, a little about her, maybe some of her answers to those silly tests? I'd like to at least speak to her, even if I don't get to see her."

"Sounds fair. I'll see what Sam says. He's the boss. I haven't called her yet - was just about to - but I'll see if that's what she wants. Nothing's really set in stone yet." Edward noted that with something resembling delight. "Next, the itinerary... Well, we've booked the honeymoon flights for June 28th, from Seattle."

"To where?"

"I'm not sure if I can tell you that either."

Edward sighed. "Anything else?"

"Well, it'd be ideal if the wedding were on June 27th, and we want you to come in for an interview on Tuesday June 23rd. Anonymous if you want it to be."

Esme's face flashed through Edward's mind._ If she knew what I am doing..._ "Yes, definitely. Anonymous, please."

"And lastly, the paperwork..."

Edward groaned; he didn't realise it had been aloud until Seth laughed. He wasn't sure what irritated him more – being caught, or the thought of paperwork at home as well from two jobs. "How bad is it?"

Seth laughed again; foreboding. "Very. You'll need to sign the wedding license on the day of the interview, and the contract for interviews and appearances and such. Of course, we can't make you sign a contract to go through with the wedding. Something about it being invalid if one or both parties are under duress, you know?"

"Yeah." Edward considered that with the ghost of a smile.

"That's it, I think. Apart from you both having to be there to sign the license, but we'll work that out. You can call me on this number _most_ of the time – be fair, okay? - and I'll send you an email with all the other contacts on it. Um... yeah." Silence. Edward switched ears again in the gap. He could feel a migraine coming. "Congratulations again, Mr. Cullen, and I'll see you next week."

"Next week?" The sudden silence was deafening. Edward noticed a little old lady walk unnecessarily out of her way to avoid him and one woman turn in the other direction as he stood deathly still, mouth agape and hand fixed in his hair. His scalp was protesting the tugging as strongly as the rest of him was rejecting the news.

"Well, yeah... it is the fifteenth. The interview would be next Tuesday, the wedding Saturday and the honeymoon Sunday."

"Oh, Christ. Alright. Yeah. Bye, Seth. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Enjoy your last week of freedom, man."

_Oh, shit_.

*

Next on Edward's list of calls to make was Emmett. He called him at home. Rosalie answered.

"Edward." She was curt and didn't let allow him to speak. "He's not here. He's working. He'll call you back." She hung up. He didn't even have time to realise she had probably known it was him from caller ID.

He went to work and waited, panicking, and tried again as soon as he was free. This time, he breathed a sigh of relief as a greeting.

"Edward. Rose said you'd called. You alright?"

"Yes. Maybe. I'm not sure."

"What's up?"

"Can you come over?"

"What, now?"

"Yeah. As soon as you can. Or meet me somewhere."

"I can't leave now. I'll come in tomorrow; is that okay?"

"What? The store?"

"Yeah. I'll be there at midday. Can this wait that long?"

"No." He could hear Emmett about to protest. "Well, I suppose so, if it has to, it could, I guess... Um, right."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Edward. Whatever it is, it's not the end of the world. Go sleep, alright, kid? 'Night."

An hour later, for the second time in as many weeks, Edward found himself lying recumbent in an armchair after one too many, eventually settling in front of his keyboard until he could hear birds outside, not managing to get it just right.

* * *

**Notes**

When I say "true story", I mean one my father told me over dinner three months ago, but he's far from renowned for telling the truth. His story is probably more fiction than mine.

A thank you bigger than Edward's envelope (if thank yous were envelope sized) to Kyrene for being a better beta than me. Thanks too to Miss-Beckie-Louise for her opinions, pre-reading and misplaced encouragement.

Next few chapters are already written, and they'll be here soon. Thank you for reading. (:


	2. Chapter 2

**Blind Faith**

**Disclaimer**

_Twilight_ and its characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended and all creative rights to these characters belong to their original author. No profit is being made from this story.

Based very loosely on a true story, shamelessly extrapolated and mutilated and moved to the other side of the Atlantic.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Alice heard about it at work. The day after the competition was announced, Bella was sat opposite Jasper at the breakfast bar. He dealt yet another hand of cards as their ebullient roommate flew into the apartment. She pecked her fiancé on the cheek, danced into their room, fluttered back in an entirely different outfit, conjured up a bottle of wine and three glasses, flicked on the TV with her toe, took up a magazine and daintily flopped into the seat at the end, not a hair out of place. Jasper dealt Bella the last card and picked up his hand.

"Good day, darlin'?"

Alice nodded, vehemently. "Oh, _yes_." She turned to Bella who swallowed and took her cards, not meeting Alice's eye. "The girls and I heard about this competition being run by that wailing station, you know, with the cute Native American DJ?"

"Howlin'?"

"Yeah, that's it - Howlin' FM. You know it, Jasper? Anyway, they're running a dating contest of sorts..." Her grin grew to maniacal proportions capable of scaring even the hardiest of small children.

Bella was already on her feet, cards discarded face-up, hands raised in defence as she backed away. "No way, Alice. No way."

"Oh, it's not that bad, Bella," Jasper said, smiling. Bella refused to look at him. "I heard about it too." He waved his cards at the chair she'd stepped well away from. "Come on, hear her out."

She didn't trust them.

"It's a little different from your ordinary dating contest," Alice explained, scooting her chair closer down the counter and leaving the magazine behind. The large brown envelope that had been hidden inside did, however, follow under her perfectly manicured hand and kept going to stop in Bella's place. "Instead of just a blind date, the lucky couple are going to get _married_."

Bella glanced down at the envelope then back to Alice. "I'm hoping that's just your normal prescience of the _distant_ future. The competition doesn't actually involve marriage, does it?"

Jasper was afraid Alice's face would split in two as the corners of her mouth stretched further apart and upwards. Bella was distracted by the next words Alice spoke. "Congratulations, Bella. You're getting married, I know it."

"To-to whom?" Bella's voice rose three octaves and she began to stutter.

Jasper stalked around the table and draped himself over Alice. "Don't tell her, love. She'll find out by the end of the month. She'll be on her honeymoon by then."

Alice leaned up to kiss him; Jasper still had to duck slightly with the seventeen inch height difference.

"I'm not doing it." Bella had folded her arms across her chest and was standing well away.

"But Bella..." Alice pouted. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"I get married to some creepy stranger and I'm stuck for however long the compulsory separation period is."

"True," Jasper conceded. "But what are the chances of you even being picked in the first place?"

"With my luck, or lack thereof, high."

"Have I ever let you do something bad, Bella?" She was met with a snort. "No, I mean _seriously_ bad. Never. Trust me on this - it will be a good thing. Besides, it's designed to match you with your perfect man."

"Bullshit. How?"

"There's like twenty different personality tests in here and they sound like proper ones, and it says here that the results are being analysed by trained psychologists."

Bella hesitantly reached out for the packet. The first page was a contents list. _Swedish Universities Scales of Personality_, _Eysenck Personality Questionnaire_, _Revised NEO Personality Inventory_, _Keirsey Temperament Sorter_, _Myers-Briggs Type Indicator_,and a very thick wad brought up the rear, the _Thematic Apperception Test_. Combined with the situational judgement tests and statements of family background, health, career history and general values, there was a hefty amount of paperwork.

"I haven't got time for this."

"But you admit that they're real."

"It's probably just a bunch of college students who need something to do for a semester."

"Please, Bella?"

Bella sighed and glanced at her watch. "I'm late for Charlie." She enjoyed visiting her father when she finally got there, but Alice and Jasper knew her dilatory habits too well. They understood she was just desperate to get away. "I'll see you two later."

Jasper prevented Alice from arguing back with a squeeze and Bella drove to visit her father for dinner.

*

Charlie still lived alone, over two decades after Renee walked out on him. The most company he had ever had was Bella, his quiet, introverted, alien daughter for her sporadic, unreliable visits that fizzled to annual at best by the time she was a teenager, and later the eighteen months she lived with him before heading to college with Alice. She glanced down at the date on her dashboard. He always remembered, so Bella was hoping to distract him.

The door opened as Bella climbed up to the porch and her father stood stoic on the threshold. She kissed her father's cheek and he turned rosy, stepping aside to let her in and hide his blush and the twitch of an almost-smile. Bella strode straight through to the kitchen and deposited the lasagna in the fridge before flicking the oven on. When she turned around, Charlie was in the door again, looking older than she'd ever seen him.

There was no thought required. It was instinct to rush to him and throw her arms around his neck, no matter how unaffectionate they normally were. "I'm sorry, Dad."

He pulled away, scarlet, hands frozen by his sides. "There's nothing to apologise for, Bells; I was just thinking that I couldn't possibly have a better daughter, but..." He shook his head. "Nothing. Never mind."

"What, Dad? You can tell me; I won't mind."

"You will," he smiled sadly. "I would, and we're more alike than sometimes I'd like."

Bella hesitated and a V-shaped crinkle appeared between her eyebrows. Charlie clenched his fists to stop himself smoothing it away. "What do you mean?"

Charlie took a deep breath and clutched his hands behind his back, rocking on his heels. "I'm worried about you, honey." His eyes were on their shoes. They were troublingly similar. "Sometimes I'm scared you're going to end up lonely like your old man, no matter how beautiful you are." He met her eye, smiled, and looked out of the window behind her shoulder. "But I'm a father. I'm meant to worry."

"I'm happy, Dad."

"No, you're not." He held up a hand to prevent Bella from arguing. "But one day you will be. Now put that lasagna in and come sit with me. Just this once, we'll watch what you want. No sports today."

Bella smiled. "Go put on whatever you like. I'm visiting you. You can watch whatever you like as long as the no-sports rule stands at my apartment."

He pecked at her forehead, eyes back on the floor, and they were in silence again, until he forced himself to leave. "Hurry up."

Watching him walk from the room, Bella was worried by his slight hobble and the increasing curve of his back. He moved more slowly than he used to and his dark hair was speckled with grey. When she joined him in the living room, curling up in her old chair, she noticed just how deep the crinkles around his eyes ran as he smiled.

Just like any other night at Charlie's, they spoke only when necessary, smiling but avoiding each other's gaze and saying their awkward goodnights at an early time. It was more comfortable for them both that way. Bella had never been desperately comfortable with other people, and Charlie never completely comfortable with his grown-up daughter.

Then Bella was on her way back to Alice's with the distinct feeling that she did not want to be alone. She loved her father more than anyone, but she could not have lived his life, trapped in a small town, trapped in love with a woman who wanted more, trapped in his own decades-old habits. Bella suddenly felt thoroughly unfledged and afflated and pulled her car over on the long drive home to scribble down fragments of sentences and quick images on the notepad in the passenger seat. Then she was on her way home again, eyes slightly blurred by tears.

Next to nobody knew she wrote. Truthfully, she barely did. Her writing was as regular as her childhood visits to Forks, and the two were often parallel. Alice knew she wrote occasionally as a teenager, but had never read anything. Bella was intensely private.

*

Back at the apartment, Alice and Jasper were snuggling in front of a movie. Bella averted her eyes and moved to the kitchen.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice called through giggles. She was squirming under the blanket and Bella turned on the tap to drown them out. A minute later and Alice was alongside her, still giggling and slightly flushed. She noticed the heavy red eyes. "How was Charlie?"

Bella grimaced.

"Oh, no. Is he really bad?" she asked. Alice had a soft spot for Charlie, especially as she had no memories of her own father. Bella shook my head. "What then?"

"He's fine, physically; he's just so... lonely." Bella hesitated, sipping at the water. "And he says I'll be the same."

Alice threw herself around her best friend's neck and raised herself onto tiptoes so they were nearly the same height. "No, you're not, Bella. You're beautiful and smart and successful and you're going to see the world and make men everywhere pine for you. Really."

Bella smiled into the side of her head, wrapping her arms, glass in hand and all, around Alice's waist. "Thank you, Alice."

"Well, maybe not Antarctica. Well... scientists..." She stepped away with a shrug. "And it's what I'm here for. You should fill in those forms. It'll make you happy, really."

"They won't pick me."

"They will if you're a match."

"For who? A dull thirty year old with a dead-end job, no realistic aspirations and no social skills? I... I'd rather not."

"Or a brilliant, witty, talented, handsome man who will sweep you off your feet and follow you around the world."

"You've got nothing to lose," Jasper said from the doorway.

"I suppose." Bella watched as Alice's smile grew. "Are you two entering?"

Alice shrugged. "We don't need the proof, but we can if you want us to."

"Please?"

Alice grinned. "You'll do it?" She glomped Bella again. "I knew you would!"

"Where are the forms?"

"On your pillow." She smirked. "We'll be out here if you need us. Good luck. And you're not sending anything until I've, you know, checked it."

Bella shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy." She disappeared into her bedroom with a good pen, ignored the small stack of paperwork she'd brought home - it was a Friday - and set to work with the forms, test after test.

Five hours later, the to-do pile was thin enough to need padding to stop the desk being scratched. Bella gave up for the night. There was no line of light from under her door so she assumed Alice and Jasper had gone to bed. Returning to the kitchen again, she ran cold water over her aching wrists and stared at her distorted reflection in the shiny tap. With her over-sized nose and golf ball cheeks, perhaps this was the best chance she had. Feeling utterly disheartened, and more than a little chilly, she went to bed.

*

In the morning, Bella finished the personal statements and put everything back in Alice's white envelope. She took her time getting ready, noisily, before venturing into the central room of the apartment to find Alice sat on Jasper's lap at the breakfast bar.

Shaking her head, she went straight for the door. "I'm going out for lunch. Back later."

"Okay, Bella," Alice muttered over the ghost of a giggle, not even looking her way. "Have fun."

Her morning was passed browsing shop windows. Bella saved every spare penny she could find so actually purchasing something was unlikely, but it was nice to look sometimes, alone. Just as she couldn't waste money, she couldn't waste time. Shopping wasn't her thing anyway; she bought the essentials, nothing more. She had dreams to fund.

The local paper had a story on the competition on the front page and Bella bought a copy to read with a leisurely coffee. It was far too soon to return safely home. Opening it to page four for the full story, a picture of a man with long black hair and a blindingly white smile greeted her. The caption called him DJ Jake Black. She remembered his voice; orotund and dominant, you could effortlessly pick it out of hundreds. Still, he was the best DJ in Washington. She'd heard Alice and Jasper exclaiming their surprise that he hadn't moved to something bigger and better than the early afternoon show of a Port Angeles-based local station.

_"This is something very new that we're attempting," says Jake Black, 27, who announced the contest Wednesday morning. "We have a group of trained psychologists ready and waiting for a mass of entry forms and an even more respected team of statisticians to analyse the results. There can be no mistake; the lucky couple will be the best match on the Olympic Peninsula."_

If there were so many people entering, surely it should be fine, Bella mused. She perused the rest of the news – nothing special – and then started a meandering walk home.

She found the apartment silent. "Alice? Jasper?" There was no answer. Her bedroom door was ajar and she nudged it wide open to find the white envelope missing from her desk replaced with a fuchsia post-it:

_Bella,_

_You know you love me. Your answers were perfection. I've posted them already. Much love,_

_Alice x_

She dug into her pocket for her phone and hit the speed dial. There was no answer there, either.

After a few minutes of frantic and relentless pacing to quell her urge to kick something, she sat down to vent her frustration writing vindictive escapist fiction. Bella vaguely promised herself the pleasure of killing Alice even as she told herself she wasn't ready, she wasn't ready.

The rest of the afternoon was so bad that she forgot.

A few weeks later, now enjoying a nuisance week of leave her boss had forced her to take, Bella was sprawled across the couch with a book when Alice and Jasper came in from work and disappeared immediately into their bedroom. She had ambled as far as her bedroom door with the intention of locking it behind her and drowning them out with obnoxious music when the phone rang.

There was a squeal and clapping from Alice's room and she wheeled into the living room, shoving Bella aside as they collided at the phone.

"Hello?" she squeaked in a voice only audible to those who knew her and dogs. "Yes. May I ask who's calling?" She grinned at Bella. "Oh, really?" She covered the mouthpiece of the phone and squealed, bouncing. Jasper was lounging against their bedroom doorframe, smirking. "She's just here, I'll pass you over."

Covering the phone with her palm again she held it out, her face again about to shatter with an irritatingly smug grin spreading from ear to ear.

"Seth Clearwater for you, dear Bella." She squealed again and bounded back over to Jasper, clasping his hand.

Bella stared at the phone for a moment, then raised it very slowly to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Isabella Swan?" Bella nodded. "Um, hello?"

"He can't see you nod, Bella," Jasper offered kindly, and he pulled Alice from the room.

"Oh, sorry." Bella shook her head. "Yeah, that's, er, me... Nice to meet you?"

"Don't sound so scared, Bella. This is good news. Congratulations. You're getting married."

She dropped the phone and followed it in a slump to the ground. She gradually grew louder. "No. N-no. No way. You guys... Oh, God. Charlie? Renee? Renee! Work. Europe. Oh, _God_."

Alice took the phone. Jasper hauled Bella up and pulled her stuttering and incoherent into her bedroom, pushing her down onto the bed by her shoulders. She stared up at him aghast, not hearing how Alice concluded the failed conversation as Jasper kept them apart and closed the door during her insensibility. He sat down at her side, quietly holding her hand in his lap. Slowly, she calmed.

After several minutes of rhythmically massaging spirals into Bella's hand with his thumbs, Jasper spoke. "Are you okay?"

"I-I don't know," she murmured. "I... I didn't expect that."

"I know." He kept up the circular rhythm and Bella felt herself melt into his side with a yawn. Her head rested on his shoulder, and Jasper wrapped an arm around her back. Bella smiled as she imagined Alice clawing at the door like a neglected puppy, and then considered that nobody else could ever calm her like Jasper, and then she put thoughts of Alice and Jasper together and came up with a vision of marriage and babies, working herself back into the state she was in before.

"What am I going to do?" she whined. It was almost a wail.

Jasper squeezed her hand. "The only thing you can do. Not only would it be unfair to them, but Alice won't let you back out now. She's convinced this is right for you, and it may well be. Besides, like Alice said, they will make concessions for you, since this is so big – maybe you can speak to him before the wedding. Everything can be anonymous. They'll have background checked him, and he won't be a psycho."

She pulled her hand away. "I don't know if I can do this," she breathed.

"You can," he said. "You can always annul it if you have to, but Alice and these psychologists say he's the right man for you. Alice is never wrong. They might be weird circumstances, but it can't hurt to try, can it? You won't date, you won't really talk to other men. I think you should do it."

"Do you?" Bella sighed. Jasper nodded and took her hand back. She nuzzled into his shoulder again. "I suppose you're right. I... I still don't like it."

"I bet he doesn't either, but he'll come round as soon as he hears your beautiful voice." Jasper grinned at her with a flourish of his eyebrows and Bella felt herself turn florid. The corners of her lips crept up unwillingly.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When do I have to speak to him?"

"Whenever you like. Alice said Seth wants you to call him back in the next 24 hours or so, when you're feeling better."

"And when would the wedding be?"

"I don't know," Jasper admitted. "I think that might be something for you and your _fiancé_ to discuss." He grinned again and let go of her hand with a brief squeeze. "Everything will work out in the end, I promise. It'll be difficult to start with, but you'll get there. Besides, you know I would kill anybody who tried to hurt you, right? And Alice is so fiercely loyal - especially to you - that, well, you can't come to any harm at all, you know?"

Bella sniffled. "I can."

"Sleep on it," Jasper suggested. "And then I'll be with you when you call Seth, and Alice and I can both go with you to the station for the interview, okay? You won't be alone, but I think you should do this. What have you got to lose?"

She nodded and smiled vacantly at him until he left the room, closing the door with a soft click. Alice's barrage of whispered questions started instantly. Bella picked up a book but merely stared at the pages through glazed eyes. What was she going to do?

*

She'd been led to believe that this first conversation would be a phone call; awkward, stilted and public. It turned out to be worse. They weren't speaking over the phone, but from two adjacent studios, just unable to see one another. Seth and another man she had been briefly introduced to hauled in special seats before they went on air so neither victim could swivel to see through the window to the other side. Bella was sat in the studio facing Jacob Black, her husband-to-be in the next room with two producers.

"So, we're here today with our lucky couple, who are getting married this weekend. You want this anonymous, but as we're all going to get quite friendly over the next year, so feel free to introduce yourselves."

"Call me Mary," Bella said without thought. It was a bastardisation of her middle name and as good as any alternative. She bit her lip. "Is that okay?"

Jake laughed. "Yes, that's fine. How about you, sir?" He smirked over Bella's head. There was silence and his grin faded. "You can't shrug. You're on the radio. They can't see that." He winked at Bella.

"Sorry." The voice was mellifluous, perfect; Bella could tell despite only having heard two syllables.

"So, what's your name?"

"John." Jake pulled a face. "Generic enough?" As generic as his voice was acerbic; Bella flinched.

"Oh, careful, E-... John." Jake laughed to cover his slip but Bella noticed. E. "You don't want to upset your future bride."

"No, I suppose not."

"So, where should we start?" Again, there was silence. Bella shrugged. She had no idea what John had done. She wondered what his mannerisms were like. Alice rocked when she was excited, Jasper flexed his fingers when he was anxious. Charlie instinctively twitched for his gun when he felt threatened, physically or emotionally. Bella was a good observer; she wanted to watch this man. If she couldn't read his stance, however, she could read into his words.

"Can I... ask a question?" Bella bit her lip.

Jake sniggered again. His laugh was irritating, directed at Bella or this man she felt irrationally defensive of. Otherwise, it would be infectious. "Sure, sure. That's precisely what you're here for, _Mary_."

"Well, I wanted to know why John chose John?"

"Ask him." She did. There was silence from the other room. "Well, John?"

"I just did." There was a pause Bella imagined was filled with a shrug. "It was as banal as her choice. No real reason. There's a more significant reason to Mary?"

Before Bella could speak, Jake interjected. "Ask her yourself. Talk to her as if other people weren't listening. How would you get to know her on, say, a first date? Think of the wedding as the second." Jake laughed again and Bella's chest constricted. She heard something fall off the desk in the other room.

"Mary?" The voice was slow, hesitant.

"Yes?"

"Why Mary?"

"It's... It's not far from my middle name." She turned to Jake. He had his arms folded over his chest and was leaning back in the chair. "Can I say that?"

Jake nodded, scooted to the microphone and said, "Yes. Why not?" Slumping back, he folded his arms behind his head and looked from Bella to her fiancé in the room behind.

"And what about you, _John_? Got a question for this lovely lady? And she is lovely, as you'll find out on Saturday."

" I'll save it for the wedding night, thanks." The words were drenched in an acid Bella mistook as lubricous, not caustic, and aimed at her, not their interrogator. She jerked her headphones off and fled the room.

"Bella?" Alice called, standing up as her friend flew past and into the ladies'. Inevitably, she followed. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"He... He's a pervert."

"What? What makes you say that? I saw him as he walked in, although Seth made me pinky swear on pain of death that I wouldn't tell you about him... He didn't look like it."

"They don't. The vast majority of paedophiles are 18 to 24 year olds, you know, and that's not exactly the image that comes to mind."

"Bella, that's stupid. You're applying irrelevant statistics to what looks like a perfectly nice man. If I told you any more than that, though, we'd both get into trouble."

"How?"

"I don't know, but he's a catch, Bella. You're perfect for him. We'll talk about it at home." When the lock spun, Alice pushed the door of Bella's hiding place open and wrapped her arms around Bella's neck. Bella was sat on the lowered toilet seat, Alice was standing, and it was the first time in many years that Bella could remember Alice being the taller one. "Now," Alice said into Bella's ear, stroking her friend's enviably long hair, "what did he say?"

Bella took a shaky breath. Suddenly, she felt silly. "He... he was saving his most pressing question for our wedding night."

There was silence, then Alice exploded. "That's it?" she almost shrieked, pulling her arms away to grip Bella's shoulders, still leaning down. "That could mean anything. I know what you _think_ it means - it was the first thing that passed through my mind too - but it could be so many other things. I mean, didn't you think that he might have questions he didn't want to ask you on air, or not in your first conversation? Things for when you're alone and know each other a little better?"

Bella shook her head. She knew she was being stupid.

"It's okay, Bella. He does know something now - you're quick to jump to conclusions, prone to overreaction and you like to be alone when you're emotional." Alice grinned and drew back to a more comfortable distance, cocking her head to the side as she surveyed the damage. "And he might guess you're quick to cry."

"It's not because I'm sad, Alice."

"I know."

"And I didn't really cry."

"I know that too – I can see - but he doesn't."

Bella sighed. "Should I go back out there and apologise? Sing your praises live?"

"You know you should."

"What should I call you?"

"I said you should, but you won't." Alice shrugged.

There was a knock at the door. "Bella?" It was one of the technical staff. Seth. He had friendly eyes.

"Yes?"

"You alright? Are you coming back out or are we wrapping this up?"

"I'm coming." Bella smiled at Alice and shuffled past. "See you in a bit."

"Good luck!"

"Mary!" Jake called as Bella entered the room again. She smiled sheepishly. She couldn't have made herself look into the other room, even if she wanted to. Pressing a hand to her cheek, she felt the heat and was glad this was radio. "You alright?" Jake took his feet down from her chair and waved in its direction.

"Yes, thank you." She shrunk back into her seat. "Just... a misunderstanding."

"Already? It's a good thing you two are scientifically certified a perfect match. There'd be trouble otherwise, if this is how quick you fall out. You want to start with the questions again, or can I have a go? I've got one, and I think an interview's going to be the only way to get you two to answer." He flashed her a near blinding grin again.

"Go on," Bella said.

"Wait. I have one." Bella wanted to look at the man in the other room. There was a short pause and he added, "You can go first, _Jake_, but it's mine next."

"Alright. What did you think of our tests?"

"Silly and otiose." Bella had pondered this many times, arguing with Jasper and particularly Alice more than usual in the last few days, and the words slipped out before she could stop them. "How did they work?"

"Otiose?" Jake asked.

"Pointless, futile, serving no purpose." Bella went to swivel in the chair to see this man, but Jake blocked the spin with his foot, then his arm.

"No, no, Mary. Bad. You're not allowed to see him... yet." He waggled his eyebrows. Bella felt a little nauseous.

"Sorry," she said, trying to focus. "Reflex."

He patted her knee and backed off as Bella folded further into herself and the chair. "It's okay. Just... try not to do it again." He rolled to the side to peer through to the other room, pulling the mic with him. "John? Your thoughts?"

"The tests filled a few days. It kept me entertained at work."

Bella blushed as she asked, "What do you do, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Ask me anything, Mary; I'll answer eventually. I have two jobs." His voice was quieter, away from the microphone, but it still caught his question. "Can we speak off air later?"

Jake shrugged. "Maybe. Your question, John?"

"That should wait, I think... like the one I said could wait for the wedding night." His voice was quieter at the end.

"They all could," Jake muttered with a roll of his eyes. "Give us _something_ to work with!"

John, if he could hear the host, ignored him. "I'm sorry, Mary, about before. I'm pretty sure what you were thinking, but that's not what I meant, honestly. I just..." He broke off. "Jake, ask your question?"

"Okay. Why did you both apply?"

"I was coerced into it," Bella said.

"Me too, kind of. Who by, Mary?"

"My best friend and her fiancé. Who bullied you?"

"My brother. It was more a skilled manipulation than bullying though."

"How?"

He chuckled; Bella found herself wanting to join in, even though nothing was funny. "He played me like a virtuoso. Personal circumstances. Is your friend the girl outside?"

"Yeah."

"The whirlwind. Makes sense. What did she do to you?"

"Took my answers and posted them without telling me. I was ready to kill her."

Now, John laughed. Bella found herself smiling a little, the corners of her lips twitching, but the conversation fizzled into a fidgety silence.

"Let's talk about the wedding," Jacob suggested.

"What about it?" Bella asked.

"Where? When? Who?"

"We will discuss this later. _Off_. _Air_." John's words were as sharp as Jake's blazer. Bella looked at her hands, brow furrowed. He was quiet in his anger, menacing; did she like that? Jasper's quiet rages had always worried her, and Charlie's made her guilty, and very flexible.

"Who, then? Who's your best man? Decided yet?"

"My brother. And if he's there, my sister-in-law will be. And that's it for me."

"And you, Mary? Who will you invite?" Jake grinned. He was pleased with the increase in pace, even if John's responses were curt. When Bella hesitated, his face grew sour. Bella paused her musing about John's temperament and considered the question.

"My best friend and her fiancé, I suppose. There isn't really anybody else."

"Sounds like it's going to be a quiet wedding. Are you not inviting me?" he pouted and Bella laughed, quietly.

"Yes, Jake, you can come."

"Do I have no say?" John asked. She tried to imagine him pouting, but he was faceless, figureless... It failed.

"Of course you do, but Jake's nice, one of our only mutual acquaintances, and the more the merrier, so why wouldn't we invite him? I don't think we've got enough to even be optimistic yet, let alone merry. Why? Do you not want him?"

"Who to invite to our wedding should be a mutual choice, don't you think, Mary?"

Jake had to restrain Bella from turning her chair around to continue their badinage face-to-face. As it was, she felt exposed. He could see the back of the chair she was curled up in – she squirmed under the imagined scrutiny - and quite possibly the top of her head, yet she could see nothing of him. Was he tall, short? What colour eyes did he have? What colour was his hair?

"Can I ask what you look like, John?"

"No."

"Oh." She frowned, looking at the ground, wringing her hands.

"Not tonight."

Jacob glanced over Bella's head and furrowed his brows. He raised and tapped at his wrist, then slid over to his mic and looked at Bella. "That's our fifteen minutes. With your disappearance, Mary, we're out of time for this week."

"Sorry."

"It's no problem. Do you want to leave first?"

Bella nodded, and kept her eyes on the floor as she made my way to the door, but she glanced over with her hand on the handle. His large leather chair had been rotated away. All she could see was a long sleeve ending in a pale hand dangling over the arm. She turned back to Jake and he smiled, nodding towards the door.

She let herself out and was most of the way to the car park when Alice and Seth caught up. "Bella, wait!" Seth called. "There's one more thing we have to do before you can get out of here."

She turned back, the colour of cherries. "I completely forgot. How's this working?"

"Well..." Alice said, drawing out the first word and then launching into the rest at lightning speed, "Seth's riding with us over to the county clerk's office, then we'll get all the paperwork sorted, you'll sign the papers, and we're going shopping since we're not working this afternoon and Jasper's catching us up in a bit."

"Have you still got all my documents?" Bella asked.

Alice nodded and held up her purse. "Everything you could possibly need and then some. It'll be _fine_, Bella." She took her by the arm with both of her own and tugged Bella towards the car. "Who'd have thought you would be married before me?"

Ten minutes later, they were parked outside County Auditor's office and being led in. Seth explained everything to all the relevant staff in order and with invariable patience. He joked through the conversations, and then turned to Bella. She went in to sign the license, the necessary three days before the ceremony, Alice with her.

"I've met him. I'll tell you all about him later when we go to find your dress. Even if it's just in front of a judge, you still have to look gorgeous."

A second car pulled up just as Bella ducked into theirs. Alice had pushed her head in before Bella could get a good look but she saw four men. One was Jake Black, two she didn't recognise and the second producer, tall with black hair too.

Alice turned to Seth in the back seat. "Are we dropping you off before or after we go shopping?"

Bella wasn't listening. She was watching the offices disappear through grey rain as they rounded a corner, wondering what John would be like when she met him in four days time, and whether the soaring sensation was from nerves or excitement.

What did it matter? Ninety-two hours to go and she was going to see this through.

* * *

**Notes**

I as good as lost my job this morning; this is my attempt at salvaging the day. Not as bad as it sounds though, don't worry. Sorry this took so long.

Thanks again to Kyrene and Beckie for tolerating my whining and not shouting at me for sending them a new version pretty much every day. Kyrene made me love this chapter where I hated it, and her comments make me grin. And then there's Frenchbeanz who makes me very, very happy. Thank you so much for the rec and the support, and to everyone else who reviewed or favourited or added to alerts. I get butterflies at every one, naturally.

And the next chapter is my favourite so far. We have more Emmett banter, a wedding, and the start of a honeymoon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Blind Faith**

**Disclaimer**

_Twilight_ and its characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended and all creative rights to these characters belong to their original author. No profit is being made from this story.

Based very loosely on a true story, shamelessly extrapolated and mutilated and moved to the other side of the Atlantic.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Waking up on his wedding day was one of the most bizarre experiences of Edward's life, but somehow he doubted the day would hold much normality.

Very, very close to his face, accompanied by freshly freshened breath, came a boom: "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty. Big day today."

"Emmett?" Edward groaned, hands on the broad chest above him and pushing hard. It didn't budge. "What the fuck do you want at-" He glanced at the clock "-6.45?"

Emmett sat up but stayed straddling his brother's legs. "Rose told me to get you up before seven, 'cos we have loads to do. You've got to be at the courthouse at midday."

"Exactly. Midday. So I'm going back to sleep 'til eleven, alright?" Edward shuffled onto his stomach, still between Emmett's thighs. He buried his head in the pillow and tried to pull the trapped quilt over his ears.

Emmett yanked the pillows out from under Edward's head, leaning far too close for comfort. "No, no, no. Rose would kill me." He pulled a face. "Do you sleep naked?"

"No! Christ, Emmett. Why do you want to know?"

Emmett grinned and leapt from the bed, pulling the covers off with him. Edward shivered suddenly exposed to the cool air, and hurled himself over the other side to throw a death glare at his snickering brother.

"Well, at least I can answer the boxers or briefs question later if she asks. Anyway, like I said, let's go. You shower, I'll find food. Rose wouldn't let me eat at home." He pouted. "She'll be here later to... oversee." Emmett grimaced.

Muttering an apparently amusing string of curses – Emmett left the room laughing louder still - Edward stalked through to his bathroom, taking a towel from the floor as he went, still barely conscious but far more so than he'd like at this hour. Even when he had to open the store, he wasn't awake this early.

"What d'you want to eat, kid?" Emmett called from the kitchen.

"Anything you can find. It's my kitchen. In fact, just don't touch anything. Put the TV on. I'll make something."

"You sure?" Of course, it never took much persuasion to get Emmett to watch TV, and if free food was in the offer too... He was a good brother, but easily distracted from the unimportant things.

"Yes. Sure."

"Alrighty then. You've got ten minutes before I pull you out of there, too."

"Whatever. Even _you_ wouldn't tug the shower curtain down."

"Don't tempt me, little brother. I'm sure I could find some pussy metrosexual scarf of yours to cover my eyes with."

Edward turned the shower on so he couldn't hear any more, and stepped straight under, face up into the gelid water. "Shit." It was absolutely freezing. He forced himself to stand perfectly straight until the water warmed to its usual tepid spurts. Still shivering slightly, he managed to wash and get out in all of three minutes. There was a reason why his shower was always so cold - he couldn't waste time and it woke him up, a little too successfully.

Wrapping the towel around his waist, Edward skulked back through his bedroom. "Fair warning, Emmett, I'm only wearing a towel." When he glanced into the living room, Emmett's hands were around his eyes as blinkers, directed at the TV. He was watching a cartoon they'd loved as children.

Another three minutes later and he was dressed, although only for a day at his keyboard, not for a wedding. Searching through the cupboards again, he found very, very little.

"Emmett, I've got no food. Want to go out?"

"Maybelle's."

"Of course."

He grinned. "Let's go, right now."

When they returned to the apartment after gorging silently on titanic stacks of pancakes, both crashed on the closest furniture. They were still dozing there when Rosalie burst in.

"What on earth are you two doing? It's nearly eleven! We have an _hour_."

Emmett jerked bolt upright. "Rose? What?" He glanced at his watch. "Shit. She's right. We still need to clear this place up."

"No we don't," Edward yawned. "There's a honeymoon. After two weeks together, I'm sure she'll go home. I'll clear up then."

"Where are you going? Do you know yet?"

"No. Apparently they'll tell us after the wedding. It's the station's _gift_ to us."

"Very nice," Rosalie snapped, "but at this rate you're not going to get to the wedding in time to have a honeymoon. Get up and put this on." She threw a suit bag over Edward's feet. "Now."

*

"Edward!" the gremlin cried. "It's so good to see you again. _Mary_ is in the ladies' room."

"Is she okay with this?" Edward asked, tugging at his sleeves.

"She will be." Alice smiled, but it wasn't reassuring.

"But she isn't, yet? I'm going to talk to her."

"It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, Edward! Don't!"

Alice scuttled after him. Edward swivelled and firmly planted his hands on her shoulders. "Alice, please. You don't want her to see me later and run, do you? She might feel better if she's at least _talked _to me before, properly. And do those things even apply to a purely legal ceremony?"

"Yes, they do."

"Just let me in. How bad could it be?"

"No."

A third voice chimed in. "Edward, let go of my fiancée. Alice, let him past."

"But-"

"No, Alice. He's right. He _should_ get to meet her before the weddin', and they won't cancel the whole thing if they meet once now. It's too close. In an hour, they're tyin' themselves together on the basis of five minutes of stilted conversation, heard by thousands. That ain't fair."

Alice pouted and Jasper took Edward's place in front of her.

"How long did it take you to realise we were perfect for one another?"

She frowned. "Minutes. Seconds. I don't know. I just knew."

"And so might these two." He took her hands, eyes at her level. "Let him in."

While Edward disagreed with this man's overly romantic idea, Alice's hesitation suggested he was winning. Edward flashed her the most pitiable eyes he could manage. He could pout as well as she could. "Please."

"Fine!" She threw her hands up. Then she prodded Jasper's chest. He winced. "But you, Jasper, owe me."

He lifted Alice off her feet. "I'll think of something while your best friend's away. Somebody has to keep you distracted. You'll be lost without her to torment." He turned to Edward, eyes narrowed. "You hurt her, and Alice won't be the only one out for your balls."

Edward stepped back reflexively. "Of course."

Jasper, still swinging Alice in his arms, turned away. Edward knocked. "Mary?"

The low-level noises within the room ceased.

"John?"

"Yeah."

"Why are we still calling each other silly names? And where's Alice?"

"Your friend Jasper talked her out of playing guard and swept her off. Can I come in, so we can talk?"

"Is that allowed?"

"By Alice, yes… kind of. Do you care about anyone else?"

"I suppose not." The door opened.

Bella was petite, both in terms of height and frame. She had beautiful, thick mahogany hair that fell very nearly to her waist. It was almost entirely curled but it looked as though she hadn't finished completely. Her eyes met Edward's and he fell headfirst into them. They were the deepest chocolate brown. "Hi," she breathed.

Edward blinked, re-focused his eyes, and felt a smile slowly grow over his face. "Hi."

He looked over her face again; heart-shaped and smooth and white as porcelain. He stretched out a hand to touch her cheek but she recoiled.

"Sorry."

"I still don't know your name."

"Can I come in?"

She nodded and stepped aside, leaning against the far wall. Briefly, the situation amused him: he was meeting his wife for the first time in a grey, utilitarian ladies' bathroom. He noticed now that she was wearing a delicate white dress and crushing a battered coat to her chest. He moved half way towards her.

"Edward," he said, holding out his hand again. She took it but they didn't shake.

"Bella."

"Pretty name."

"So's yours."

"Thank you. You're pretty."

She pulled her hand away. "Don't, please."

"What?"

"Say things like that… They make me nervous."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. You didn't know. It's just... It normally makes me run, when guys tell me I'm pretty like that. I don't like it. I freeze. That's when you know exactly what they want, you know?"

"You don't know many nice men, I guess."

"No. Only Jasper, and that's only because he's devoted to Alice. The only men I used to meet were clingy and desperate or creepy and tactile. I know exactly what they want."

"I promise you, I'm not like them. My mother raised me to be a gentleman, and although I followed my brother's example a little more than she'd've liked, I'll follow her rules with you. For you. Anyway, I hardly need a… No, I need a friend. Friends?" He held out his hand again.

Entwining their fingers, she beamed; she was even more beautiful when happy. Edward placed his other on top.

"But first, I want to know if you really want to do this." He squeezed. "Do you? There's no pressure from me, and if you want to avoid the wrath of Alice, Jasper, Jacob, Sam, anyone, I'll take the fall. It's fine. But in this, like… other things, I won't make you do something you don't want to."

She nodded. "I'd rather get to know you first, but if we do that, I'll run."

"So will I."

"Really? Why?"

"Commitment issues. The idea of changing my lifestyle for somebody. It's a good thing we're going on a honeymoon... If you'd just moved straight in, I'd probably kill you… or myself. I think I could change for you, but you'll have to meet me half way. This is going to be hard, but... I just need a friend, you know?"

"I'm moving in with you?" She smiled, a shy grin. "Me too, though. I need a friend who won't make me feel like the third wheel. Alice and Jasper are like my siblings, but there are some things I can't go to them for - they're so happy all the time, so in love. And I don't have that, and don't want to live vicariously through them forever, the spinster aunt..."

"My family are the same - my brother and sister-in-law, Emmett and Rosalie. Have you met them yet?" She shook her head. "Well, they're always clinging to each other, have been for over a decade. My parents are the same - all my life, I can't remember a day going by where they haven't been more affectionate towards one another than I thought I ever could be, with anyone."

"I'm too much like my dad, Charlie, but at least he had a lover once, in my mother."

"I've never been short of 'lovers' in the physical sense. I've just been lacking constancy, commitment. Now, though, I'm not sure that's quite what I need. What I need is a best friend."

"Me too."

"Do you want to do this? Tie ourselves together, but just as companions?"

"What about the rest of the world?"

"They don't have to know. You're very shy, aren't you?" She nodded. "Then we're fine. I've never been particularly affectionate – tactile, you said, right? So... we'll manage. We can be friends, and they never have to know."

She nodded again.

"You haven't said a lot. Answer me in words." He spoke his last question slowly, enunciated each individual syllable: "Do you want to do this?"

She put her free hand on top of his. "Yes. Really."

"Then I'll see you in there. And you really do look beautiful." He hesitated, but kissed her cheek and went to get himself ready.

*

In the courtroom, Edward shook hands with the judge, Jasper, Alice and Jake, who asked, "Where's the bride?"

"I've just spoken with her, whether you like it or not. She'll be out in a minute."

The judge nodded. "Miss Brandon sorted the papers while you were elsewhere. We'll go through the vows, you sign the documents, and that's it. Are you planning another ceremony with your family?"

Edward hesitated. "Maybe. For now, it's just close friends, and...." He flicked a hand at Jake.

The judge looked over his head. "Isabella?"

Edward turned to see his bride in the doorway, hair slightly shadowing her eyes; she smiled tentatively. Edward held a hand out to her and she made her way down to take it.

It was electric.

They turned to the judge, who looked as though she wanted to start a peculiar sort of sermon. "Considering the special circumstances of this union, could you please verify that you aren't entering this union under duress of any kind, and that you are both free to get married?"

Edward murmured an affirmative. Bella nodded.

"In that case, let's get the formalities out of the way so you two can get to know each other." They both nodded this time, and Edward spared a smile for the judge. Where she'd looked steely before, her expression was softer now.

"Do you, Edward Anthony Cullen, take this woman to be your wife?"

He winked at Bella. Then kicked himself for winking. Bella had blushed a beautiful crimson and he was gaping at her, thinking how much of an idiot he was. Eventually, he remembered his line. "I do."

"And do you, Isabella Marie Swan, take this man to be your husband?"

She squeezed his hands and very quietly responded, "I do."

A pronunciation from the judge, and they were married. No need for intricate, complex vows.

Edward leaned in towards Bella and she tensed. He changed course. Mouth by her ear, he whispered, "Do you want me to kiss you?"

He felt her hesitant nod when her waves tickled his cheek. Chuckling, he pulled back, and brushed the softest kiss he could over her lips, satisfying tradition and the promise not to push her. It was even more electric than touching her. She echoed his dazed smile and they thanked the judge.

Then the hounds descended.

Jake was the first one to speak. "Edward, Bella… We have an interview to tape. When do you want to do it?"

They looked at each other, then Bella suggested, "Now? Let's get it out of the way."

"Then you can go get ready for your show and we can do the whole family dinner thing." Edward smiled.

Jake glowered back, but at a cough from Seth replaced a mask of complete professionalism.

"So, you're married. Does it feel any different yet?"

"No," Bella said. Edward agreed equally simply.

"And what are your plans for the next fortnight?"

"We don't know yet," Bella said.

"You haven't told us." Edward looked at Seth. "Will you tell us now?"

Seth stepped into Jake's microphones range. "Sure. You're going on your honeymoon. You're heading to Seattle tonight, where you'll stay free of charge in a hotel not too far from Sea Tac, and then you'll be on your way to your mystery destination first thing in the morning."

"I thought we were going to be spending the next fortnight in Seattle then," Bella laughed.

"You were, until a gracious sponsor jumped in to offer a proper honeymoon, but more about that later…"

Edward intervened. "Or now. Mary and I are going to celebrate. Privately."

Seeing Edward's anger, provoked only by Jake's attention to Bella, the four guests had stood away and plotted. When the bride and groom were free, Rosalie and Emmett swept Bella away in one car, and Alice and Jasper took Edward in the other. They agreed on a place for lunch, and that they would take a decidedly scenic route in getting there.

Seeing Emmett swooping towards them, Edward tried to pull Bella behind him, but Emmett was stronger and faster and swept Bella off her feet and over his shoulder, barrelling out to the car park. Rosalie congratulated Edward and followed. Edward turned to find Alice directly under his chin, beaming.

"Let's go, handsome."

*

"Please put me down," Bella asked. She had long ago dropped her flowers and was clinging to Emmett's neck for dear life just outside the front door. She was only saved when Rosalie appeared, battered bouquet in hand.

"Let her go, you oaf," she said, and Emmett obeyed, although he took his time. "Could you go get the car? I'm not going out in that and Bella can't ruin her dress. That and I want to talk to her about something."

Emmett shrugged. "Sure. But you park when we get there and Bella and I can have our get-to-know-you chat at the other end." He flashed his teeth and then jogged into the downpour.

Rosalie shook her head and turned to look down at her new sister-in-law. "Edward's a dick." Bella stood, mouth agape like a goldfish, and Rosalie smiled. "Okay, he's not that bad, but you do need some warning. He's moody as hell; stubborn, determined, hardworking and very, very loyal, much like his brother. Those things will either make him a fantastic husband or a crap one. You need to find a way to tolerate or diffuse his moods, though."

"What do you mean by moody?"

"Well, he's not the temper tantrum and door slamming type, but that might be worse. He's the quiet, brooding type. He has quiet periods. They really kill the mood, you know? A couple of weeks ago, I tried to tell his parents we were pregnant and his silent hissy fit overshadowed the whole thing… Actually, you need to ask him about that."

"About what?"

Rosalie's head tilted to one side. "I'd've thought they told you. You really don't know?"

Bella shook her head and heard Rosalie mutter, "That bastard. It's not his fault, but…" Before Bella could ask again, Rosalie shook her head and strode off to the car waiting ten feet away. Bella scurried after them.

The car journey was silent. Emmett had put Howlin' FM on thinking Bella was a fan, but Rosalie had changed it to the news instead. Emmett shrugged and turned around in the passenger seat to amuse Bella.

"You okay, little sis?"

Bella jumped, and then looked up at him. "Um, yeah… I guess."

"Nervous?"

"A little."

"Don't be. The wedding's done and that's the worst part out of the way. Really, Edward's not so bad, and you must have something in common with him. Hey, what did he say to you this morning? Your friend, Alice – she was really pacing. That other guy could hardly keep her still."

Bella blanched. "He… He didn't say much. We agreed on a few compromises, that's all."

"Really? I didn't know he could do that. Oh – there is one _really_ bad thing about Edward."

"What's that?"

"He's a messy bastard."

*

Conversation in the other car was relentless, although it was in danger of becoming a monologue. Jasper was driving and focussed solely on the road. Alice had sat in the back with Edward and now had her feet in his lap.

"Bella's a really, really nice girl but she can be a little sensitive at times. You have to be nice, but she needs a push – more like a really hard shove – in the right direction sometimes. I like you, I think you'll be good for her, but try to get her to talk a little more, or maybe laugh a little. You should take her to the theatre or something – she'd love that. She was an English major, and I know she used to write plays and things when we were younger, although I never read any of them. See if you can find something nice and obscure for her. Oh! And she loves Italian food, so you have to take her out for that some-"

"Alice."

"Jasper?"

"Stop chewin' the man's ears off. He's probably panicky enough already." Jasper raised an eyebrow at Edward in the rear view mirror. Edward nodded. "See. So be fair. He's meant to find out about Bella on his own, and she'd probably prefer he got to know her through his own eyes, not yours. Why don't you ask him about himself?"

Alice sat up straight and Edward groaned.

*

Dinner was loud, but dominated by two voices – Alice and Emmett. They joked, swapped stories, hypothesised about how great a match their friends were. Rosalie and Jasper were immersed in quieter conversation about the realities of marriage, Rosalie schooling him in what to expect and how he should spoil his wife. Edward and Bella sat in silence close to one another, occasionally exchanging smiles. Both were trying to keep their skin from turning scarlet by listening to their quieter companions.

A lazy three-course meal later at the best restaurant in town, and everyone prepared to leave. Alice and Emmett raced off ahead, still swapping stories and giggling uncontrollably. When Bella went to the bathroom, Rosalie took the opportunity to pull Edward aside as Jasper waited.

"She's a nice girl, so you had better try your damnedest not to hurt her, or I'll have your balls, okay?"

Edward smiled, despite himself.

"This isn't funny, Edward. You hurt Esme and I let you live because she has another son who loves her unconditionally, and I know you do even if you're not the best at showing it, and she has a husband who worships the ground she walks on. But you look after Bella. I like her, but this girl's fragile. She's shy, quiet and very, very scared. She needs a friend. And God help you, Emmett would kill you too."

"I was only smiling because that's exactly what Jasper said he and Alice would do too. I won't upset her, Rosalie, I promise. I _want_ to try."

"About damn time. Congratulations, Edward, but don't fuck this up."

*

"You're sure you're okay with this?"

Bella nodded.

"Absolutely certain? You can stay home if you want to, nobody will mind at all."

Bella nodded again. "I know, Jasper. I want to go. I suppose I kind of trust him, so far. He seems nice, and so do Emmett and Rose. I'll be fine."

"I'm going to worry about you. Almost as much as…" He stopped.

"What, Jazz?"

"What did you tell Charlie, Bella?"

Bella blushed. "Nothing."

"Shit. Do you want Alice to call?"

She shook her head. "No. I'll tell him in the morning before the flight."

"It's tomorrow? If you need anything, anything at all, before then, you call. I'll break every speed limit there is, even if I have to borrow your dad's cruiser to get away with it. And remember what I taught you."

"Hard in the groin." Bella grinned. "I know."

*

The car journey to Seattle was tense. Bella sat rigid and upright with her hands clenched in her lap, only looking straight ahead. She barely moved. Edward's hands were clutching the steering wheel almost tight enough to leave an imprint.

"Are you okay?" he asked after thirty minutes of nothing but rainfall and trees. It was even too tense to put the radio on. How could he ask her what she liked to listen to? Howlin' FM was definitely out, given their situation, and he had no idea what else she liked.

"Yes," she squeaked. She had turned to look out the passenger window now. At least that was something.

"I'm not going to bite, you know."

He expected an "I know", or a nod. She surprised him. "No I don't."

She was right, but the atmosphere was dark enough already. "You do now. You have my solemn promise not to bite." He crossed both hands over his heart.

"Edward!" she shrieked. "Put your hands back on the wheel!" Despite the outburst, the corners of her lips were twitching upwards, lips bitten between her teeth. Edward laughed.

"Where exactly are we going?" she asked.

"Seattle."

"I know, but whereabouts in Seattle?" Even though she had returned to staring, watching the trees blur past, the tension was easing.

"A hotel not too far from the airport."

"Oh."

"Is that okay?"

"One room or two?"

"I think they booked us one..." Edward glanced over and spied a grimace. "I'll take the floor, or a sofa if they have one. Just as I won't bite, I won't do anything you're not comfortable with."

"Isn't it some kind of marital right though?"

"This isn't the nineteenth century, Bella. I'm not going to force myself on you."

Instantly, much of the tension dissipated and her shoulders relaxed into the leather. "Thank you."

Edward smiled. She was hardly asking a lot from him. Maybe this was possible.

It was a long few hours to the hotel but eventually they had the courage to turn the radio on. They couldn't find anything docile enough to listen to, so she decided to root through the car's CD collection. Evidently, it pleased her.

"Varied taste."

"I know. My mother calls my collection eclectic and esoteric."

"Alliterative."

He laughed. "Definitely. Her name's Esme; you'll like her, I think. She'll love you."

Bella blanched, but changed the subject. "This all seems pretty angsty, though."

"I have a much, much larger collection at home and the happier things are in there. I'm typically alone when I'm driving and that's my misery collection. That's why it's so dusty too - I tend to rely on the radio to keep me sane."

"But they always play the same songs, over and over."

"Some stations. It costs a fortune so they only have rights to certain songs. The problem's with national companies, where every single station cycles through the same three hour playlist. So it depends who you're listening to. Howlin' plays a lot of music from local artists, and that's always good. Varied, interesting. Have you never listened to their Unsigned show?"

She shook her head. "Truthfully, not a Howlin' fan."

"Then who is? Alice? Jasper?"

"Neither. Alice heard about all of this at work, but I don't want to talk about it yet."

"That's fine. We should talk about it sometime, though."

Her answer was muted again, and Edward again wanted to kick himself. "I know."

*

After Edward's latest idiocy, pushing her into something she clearly didn't want, the rest of the journey lapsed in silence. Bella put a classical CD on and leaned her cheek against the window, occasionally tapping out a beat with her feet. She always traced a waltz.

Edward pulled up in front of the hotel and asked if she wanted to go in without him, have a minute alone. While it went entirely against his new instincts, depositing her in a place neither of them had been before, he recognised that she was going to spend the best part of ten hours tomorrow unable to go further than twenty feet from him and that could hardly be good for any fledgling relationship. Thankfully, she shook her head and Edward carried on round to the car park, descending underground into lights that would have had them squinting were it not for the tinted windows.

He stopped the car, removed the key, and turned to his wife. "Ready?"

Bella's lip was pulled taut between her teeth and her hands were clenched and white between her knees again, but she nodded. "As I'll ever be."

Edward reached out to touch her, but wasn't sure where he'd be welcome, so he clambered out and around to her side, opening the door for her before she could.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She smiled and released her hands and lip, but then seemed awkward, fidgeting and pushing her hair behind her ear with one hand, the other clenched into a fist. Edward eased it open with his own and held it tight. Opening the back door, still holding onto Bella, he took their overnight bags from the back seat and slung them both over his shoulder.

"You've got enough for the night in here, right? It's hardly worth bringing a whole suitcase in for a few hours, is it?"

She reminded Edward of Alice's masterful preparations, but seemed to blush at an errant thought and tugged him inside by the hand, cutting herself off mid-sentence.

The lobby was empty.

"Good evening, sir. Have you got a reservation?" The girl behind the counter was staring at Edward.

He frowned. "Cullen."

She skimmed down a sheet on the desk with her finger and stopped at the name. "Oh." Her smile faltered, but she continued with a much more artificial smile plastered across her face. "Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Your room is... 204. The honeymoon suite was already booked, I'm afraid, but this is still one of our better rooms."

Edward nodded and offered a terse smile of his own.

"Thank you."

"Do you need anyone to show you up or help with your luggage?"

"No thank you." He glanced at Bella, who was scowling at her shoes. "But where could we find something for dinner?"

"Our restaurant has closed for the evening, but room service is available throughout the night. There should be a menu in your room, or I have one here if you'd prefer to order now." She produced a single-sided sheet of A5 small print on yellow card. He shook his head.

"Locally?"

She shrugged. "There's a 24-hour diner, about fifteen minutes from here, but I imagine many of the restaurants have closed like ours."

There was a warm pressure on Edward's forearm. "Can we just eat here please?" Bella's eyelids were drooping and she rubbed her eyes absently with her free hand. Edward pushed the menu away.

"We'll order from our room, thank you."

The stairs and corridor to the room were painted a painful white which grew gradually more yellow over the top eighteen inches or so, and they followed fading red, green and blue carpet. As they passed a lone vending machine under a stairwell, Edward squeezed Bella's hand.

"We can go somewhere else if you prefer," he offered. There had to be a good hotel that wouldn't break the back somewhere nearby. If not ideal, it might be nicer than this.

"No, it's fine. I've stayed in worse. It's been a really long day and I just want to go to sleep if you don't mind..."

Eventually reaching their room at the end of the corridor, a quick scout of the area over Bella's head left Edward with an idea of where to find the fire escape and other necessities, and then he let them into the room, taking care to lock it properly behind them.

It was red, but darker than the most dominant colour on the carpet outside. The carpet and bedspread in here were crimson, the walls cream but not desperately marred by smoke, or at least freshly painted. It smelled fresh too but was freezing cold and when the curtains fluttered they knew why. Finally releasing Bella's hand, Edward put the bags on the suitcase stand behind the door and went to close the window.

Bella stood in the same spot, having shrivelled into as small a shape as she could. Her arms were wrapped around her chest.

"Cold, isn't it?"

She nodded.

"Have a look at the menu, tell me what you want, then go have a hot shower." He rested a hand on the radiator for all of half a second and hissed. "It's on, so the room should warm up now the window's closed."

She nodded again. "Thank you."

"My pleasure." Edward disappeared into the bathroom to give her a moment alone. It was even more cold in there than the bedroom had been. After inspecting the decoration, the freebies, the plumbing, the tiles and the hooks on the back of the door, he still couldn't hear her moving in the other room. Edward paced the entire five free feet from the bath to the towel rack. Fifty lengths and he left.

"Bathroom's free."

She turned, startled. "Thank you." Then she cocked her head to one side. "I didn't hear the toilet flush."

Edward floundered. "I-I didn't go," he admitted, but she only looked more confused, then shrugged.

"I wrote down what I'd like by the menu, if that's okay. I'll be back in a few minutes." Edward turned away, nodding mutely, pretending to look at the food but lying idle until he heard the bathroom door lock and the shower sputter on.

Then he flopped over onto his stomach and called his mother.

She answered on the second ring. "Edward! It's so good of you to call. How are you, honey?"

"I'm fine, Mom. Just wanted to tell you something."

"Oh, really? Oh, go on then. Your father and I were just about to go out for dinner, but I'm sure nobody will mind if we're a few minutes late. What did you want to say?"

"I…"

"Edward?"

"I… I'm going away tomorrow."

"Oh. Well, where are you going?"

"I… I don't know yet. I'll find out tomorrow and tell you then. I'm with a friend though, Mom, and Emmett knows about this. I'm sorry I'll miss the next few dinners."

"How can you not know where you're going? And how long will you be away? Edward, you know I'm going to worry now…"

"No, Mom, don't. I'll be fine, really. It's all legal and official and insured and everything, and my friend and I will be fine. We'll be gone two weeks, not too long."

"Oh, Edward, you have to call me. As soon as you know, and when you get there. How are you getting there? Driving?"

Edward coughed. "No, plane. Mom, don't worry. Would you put Dad on for me?"

"Certainly. Maybe he'll be able to get some sense out of you, or talk a little more in."

A moment later, and Edward sighed in relief to hear his father say, "Your mother tells me you're going off on a magical mystery tour by plane, never to return."

Edward laughed. "No, it's just a vacation, with a friend. Nothing too terrible. It's all fairly last minute though, only just coming together. Emmett knows more – you can ask him when you see him."

"Alright. Will he actually tell me, though, or have you sworn him to secrecy?"

"Secrecy, actually. Damn, Dad. I'll tell you all about it when we get back, but could I ask a favour quickly before I have to go…"

"Of course, son, anything."

"Could somebody clean my apartment?"

* * *

**Notes**

It's 2am in a nine hour sleep break between shifts. Use it to sleep? I think not. I'm writing a canon one-shot about Jasper after this, tentatively called _Tithonus in the Cornfield_. Tentatively. It'll hopefully be up over the weekend.

Kyrene is the best person ever, Beckie is just wonderful and southerngirl915 is one ridiculously good for her first time as a beta.

I'm up for the Support Stacie auction, 'cos I'm an idiot. Please show me some love, and Stacie, or at least some of the other auctions - one of your favourite authors is guaranteed to be up. It's so worth it, and a great place to lurk even if you're penniless like me. Links on my profile.

And just so you know, even if you're only _reading_ this, never mind reviewing, you make me the happiest kid around right now. Seriously. Thank you.


	4. Chapter 4

**Blind Faith**

**Disclaimer**

_Twilight_ and its characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended and all creative rights to these characters belong to their original author. No profit is being made from this story.

Based very loosely on a true story, shamelessly extrapolated and mutilated and moved to the other side of the Atlantic.

* * *

**  
Chapter 4**

Edward was rooting through his bag when Bella emerged from the bathroom. Without the coat and jeans to cover nearly every inch of her she felt nervous, so she donned full-length pyjama pants and clutched her bag to her chest to cover as much as she could of what the tank top didn't. Edward smiled briefly at her then looked away again. Bella crept closer.

"What now?" she asked, standing on her toes to peer over his shoulder.

Edward pulled a change of clothes for himself out of the bag and disappeared into the bathroom. "Up to you," he said on the way. "Think about it; I'll be back in a minute."

Bella flopped onto the bed then onto her back. After a moment of trying to calm her spiralling thoughts, she sat up and paced, looking out the window, into the corridor, under the bed, in the wardrobe, through all the drawers. Her brows furrowed at the standard Bible in the top drawer. She wondered whether he was religious. She wasn't, and they were supposed to be matched on values too, but she couldn't be sure of anything about him. The butterflies wheeled to a crescendo.

Finally feeling her earlier exhaustion return, Bella scrambled to sit against the headboard and clutched a pillow to her chest, surreptitiously watching both doors. It was five very quiet minutes before Edward returned.

"Decided?" he asked, settling himself on the opposite corner of the bed. Bella shrunk further into herself and shrugged.

"No. Not really." She squeezed the pillow.

Edward forced himself not to roll his eyes; he had to be nice to this girl. She was, after all, stuck with him. They were silent, Edward casually watching her and Bella watching anything but him. Finally, she met his eye, albeit briefly, and spoke. "Maybe we should just talk."

Edward exhaled. "Yeah. Good idea." Bella adjusted her arms around the pillow; they were growing sticky against the coarse material. Edward scratched behind his ear, trying to squash a cowlick in the same movement. Eventually, Bella was inspired by the office block in the distance.

"You remember I asked about your job? Well, what do you do?"

"We're on our honeymoon and you want to know about work?"

"Well, I don't exactly know you…"

"That's not what I meant, Bella, you know it. I meant we're on vacation and you want to know about _work_. On _vacation_."

"Well… yeah."

Edward sighed. "Okay." He clawed at the cowlick again. "I have two jobs. I pretty much run a record store by day – I cafffn't remember the last time the owner actually showed up – and I work at a call center three nights a week."

"You sound busy."

"Not desperately. I need the money though. What do you do?"

"I… I'm a copy editor. For _Peninsula Daily News_. It's dull, but it pays okay."

Edward hesitated, but grinned as he said, "Nice."

"Not really. I don't even get to do the interesting stuff. I'm pretty much a human spell-checker. _Some_ of the people are alright, I guess..."

"You don't sound like you like it."

"I don't." Bella realised her vice-grip on the pillow had relaxed slightly throughout the conversation, and that they were talking about her, and rectified both situations. "Do you like your job?"

"The store's okay – time to myself, thinking, sleeping, writing-"

"Writing?"

"Music."

"Oh." Bella shrugged; her cheeks heated.

"What? You thought, like, stories and poems?"

Bella shrugged again.

"You write, I guess." Edward leaned forward to see her reaction. Her cheeks when from pink to scarlet. "Yeah, I can see you as a writer. Anonymous. The quiet, understated kind – you're better than you claim, and you're shy as hell, right?" Bella didn't answer and Edward smiled. "I think we should move on. Why did you _really_ apply? Not just Alice made you – you wouldn't have touched those papers and answered properly unless you wanted to. You did answer properly, right?"

Bella nodded. "And I entered because I was lonely, like you, and… it's an easy option. I don't generally like men, and I don't like nagging Alice, and it just… it was easy."

"I don't like dating. It always seems like such a waste of time, following stupid unspoken rules and…" He shook his head. "I've had bad experiences."

Bella smiled, the broadest one she'd managed since the wedding, but still not impressive. "So have I. At least we skipped that part this time."

Edward smiled but they fell back into silence. Slowly, he crawled to the top of the bed and sat next to Bella against the headboard.

"What did you do when you heard you'd been picked?" Bella asked.

Edward shrugged. "Called Seth. Panicked. Called Emmett. I talked to him the next day and he was shocked – we'd never expected this – but he told me to just go for it… and I did. Mostly, though, I panicked."

"Yeah, I was the same," Bella said. "I cried too. I didn't even hang up on Seth – just dropped the phone. Alice had to take over. Jasper pretty much carried me into my room."

Edward smirked. "I'm not so sure I like that, the idea of another man carrying my then-fiancée into her bedroom." Bella ducked her head, trying to hide her cheeks with a wall of hair. "What's your relationship with him anyway? You say you don't like men, but you seem very close to him."

Bella shrugged and rested her head on the pillow she was clutching, facing him. "I don't know. He's just always been there, almost always. As long as there was Alice, there was Jasper. He's never made a move, never made me uncomfortable… And Alice lets him play fake boyfriend when I need one. He's like the big brother I never had."

"No siblings then?"

Bella shook her head.

"You can share mine. Emmett's more than enough for both of us. In fact, just have him."

Bella smiled, but not happily. "My parents weren't together long enough for any more kids."

"Mine were. I'm surprised they stopped with two… Maybe they guessed how much work we'd be."

Bella tried to smile but it was interrupted by a yawn. Edward squeezed her hand and they sat in tired silence until they heard a knock and Edward let a teenager in with their food. Wordlessly and coloured crimson, the boy left it on the desk on the far side of the room, mumbled he'd be right back when Edward asked for a spare blanket, and let himself out quickly, never raising his eyes from the floor.

"I was like that at my first job," Bella volunteered. "Even though I knew everyone, it took me a long time to be able to act normal."

"I still don't talk to anyone at work, and it's been nearly fifteen years since I got my first job."

"How old are you, anyway?"

Edward hesitated. He'd thought earlier about how young Bella looked by comparison and wondered if he would upset her. "Twenty-nine," he said. "_Recently_. And you?"

"Twenty-three, although much closer to twenty-four. My birthday's September."

"June. Last week, in fact."

"Happy birthday."

"Thanks."

They lapsed into silence again. The awkward boy knocked, let himself in and put the blanket just inside. He vanished in less than ten seconds and it took the same amount of time again for the sound of his footsteps to disappear.

Edward took a pillow from the bed and tucked it into a corner of the couch, then served their dinner from the desk. Taking his plate to his makeshift bed and handing Bella, still against the headboard, hers, they ate in silence and abandoned the plates on the floor. Completely awkward, Edward offered a negligible smile to his wife and took her plate away, returning to tuck her in. When she folded herself into a tiny ball under the covers and flinched from his touch, he gave up, feeling hopeless and exhausted. He wondered how far the two were related, then retired to his own bed in the corner. Bella flicked the light off without even a goodnight.

*****

Seth called at an obscene hour of the morning. Edward's bag was on the other side of the room and he grumbled his way over and tipped it upside-down.

"Hello?" he growled, plucking a creased shirt from the end of the phone.

"Morning," Seth yawned. "I know it's early, but Jake said I couldn't call you until six hours before your flight. All the paperwork's in the side pocket of Bella's suitcase – visa, passport, tickets and so on."

"So?"

"Sea-Tac, you're flying out at eleven. You're headed for England. Alice packed our contribution to your spending money and you're pretty much free to do whatever you want."

"I'll tell Bella."

"How is she?"

Edward glanced at the clock. It wasn't even 5am yet. "If she's got half as much in common with me as you claim, she's probably pissed. Bye Seth." He hung up and switched his phone off. He looked over to see Bella doing the same, still curled in bed.

"Do we have to get up yet?"

Edward's response was to slump back into his nest. "In an hour maybe." He dozed off amused at their mutual laziness.

*

They checked-in three hours later and found they had three more hours to kill. Standing near the entrance of the Departures Lounge, Edward shrugged his bag further onto his shoulder and looked down at Bella. "What now?"

Her lip was straining between her teeth. "I really ought to call my dad."

"How about you go do that, and I'll get us coffee?"

Bella shook her head.

"Tea, then?" he asked. "Anything?"

"No, no. Coffee would be perfect. I just don't know how long the call will take, and if I call my mother too I could be there until we board. Plus, you don't know what I like."

"So what do you want to do then?"

"Just… you go wander, and I'll find you later."

"You won't be able to."

She grinned up at him and hesitantly ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, I will."

With butterflies, a smile and a shake of his head, Edward ambled off. Her phone had died and she was too shy to borrow his. She both couldn't bring herself to ask and wasn't sure it help her case if she called from a strange man's number, either. Bella moved to find a phone, fed in a handful of coins, and called Charlie.

"Hello?" His voice was gruff, as though it hadn't been used for a while. Bella surmised it probably hadn't, if he hadn't been at work and the weather had stopped him from fishing. She realised that if that were true, he would be agitated, and that would make this that much harder.

"Hi Dad," she said, quietly.

"Bella? Hi. What're you calling for so early?"

"I… I just wanted to tell you I won't be around for a couple of weeks. I'm going away, on vacation I guess."

"You? Vacation?" When Bella didn't laugh in the gap, Charlie continued slowly. "You're serious." He paused again. Bella twirled the cord of the payphone around her finger, teeth tugging at her bottom lip. "Where are you going?" he asked, quieter still.

"England."

There was another interminable silence. Bella stood on her toes and looked for Edward's mop of bronze hair. She couldn't see him.

"When are you going?"

Bella hesitated. Her conversations with Charlie weren't usually _this _awkward. "Now. I'm at the airport."

"Bella!" She heard him inhale. Charlie didn't get angry, but she could read him like a book, or in this case an audio book. "Why didn't you tell me? Is Alice with you?"

"No, no Alice. No Jasper. It's another friend. You'll meet him when-"

"Him?"

Bella's heart was pounding. This was not how she wanted to tell her father that his little girl was married to a man neither of them knew and that he had never met.

"Look, Dad, my plane's boarding," she lied. "I still have to call Mom so I've got to go. I'll call when I get there, okay?"

"Bella…"

She hung up. She'd never put the phone down on her father before and it brought tears to her eyes. That was awkward. Taking a moment to catch her breath and block the tears, she spied Edward on the other side of the lounge, watching her. She waved, then inserted a few more coins and dialled her mother. She had to leave a message.

"Hey Mom. It's just me calling to say I'm going to England for two weeks. I know it's sudden, but I just had to do it. You've always told me to be more spontaneous, more fun. I'll call again when I get there. Love you."

Edward was only ten feet away. He caught Bella's eye and nodded to the left. Bella shrugged and followed him into the coffee shop.

"What do you want then?" he asked.

"Nothing, thanks."

"We haven't had breakfast. You need to eat something."

Bella shrugged. "I'd rather have something cheaper, if that's okay."

"Of course it's okay, but this is my treat. My mom always told me I needed to find someone to spoil and now I have you. Indulge me."

Extravagantly offering his arm, Edward swept Bella up to the barista and promptly ordered something Bella didn't understand. Bella asked for a plain cappuccino. Edward frowned.

*

"I've always wanted to go to England."

"Why?"

Bella had been absent-mindedly watching the jets cut through misty rain when she thought out loud. Edward, desperate for some interaction, pressed her. Bella shrugged.

"Just... the history, the culture... Everything. It's not as if it could rain any more than it does around here, and I've always wanted to travel. What about you?"

Edward shrugged too.

"Don't you want to travel?"

"Well, I guess... I'm just not that excited about it. It's nice to get a break from real life though."

"I don't think so. This is more real life in the extreme. Accelerated. A lot. Too much."

"I guess."

They lapsed back into silence. Fifteen minutes passed before Bella rose to discard her cold coffee and Edward stood as she did. Seeing Bella's brow furrow, one corner of Edward's lips quirked up and he waved for her to pass. When she did, he sat down again.

Returning emfpty-handed, Bella sat beside him and asked, "What was that all about?"

"What?"

"Standing up."

"It's only polite, Bella. A gentleman stands up when a lady does."

"No they don't. Only in fiction."

"Well, I did, and you're the one who said this was real life."

Bella huffed. "Don't. It makes me uncomfortable."

There was another silence. "Why?" Edward asked eventually.

"I've never met anyone who does. It's weird."

"Well, you admitted you didn't know many nice men. What about Jasper?"

"Alice is normally in his lap anyway. He can't stand so easily when she does that, and she probably cuts off the circulation to his legs."

Edward laughed, but they found the conversation dying again. After another minute's quiet, Bella announced she was going for a walk and Edward followed without question. Bella walked straight into the ladies' room and took her time. Edward was still outside when she emerged.

"What? Why are you following me?"

Edward's stomach clenched. Did she not want him around? "I'm... Well, I didn't think of it like that. I _am_ your husband and I'm your only companion on this trip... I suppose I just think I'm keeping you safe. I don't like the idea of you wandering off alone."

"I'm hardly going to be abducted or something in a busy airport, Edward."

Edward shrugged. "I know, but I worry."

"You're like my dad."

She started walking again and Edward followed two paces behind, carrying both their bags. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he asked. Bella didn't answer; she kept walking, long, even strides, but eventually her foot caught in a bag strap. Edward reached out to grab her but was too far behind and she tumbled to the floor, eventually rolling over to untangle herself, red-faced.

"Are you okay?"

Bella didn't answer. She looked as though she would spit venom. Edward took half a step back, then reached down his hand to help her up. Ignoring it, Bella hauled herself up and took off at a faster pace.

"Bella, wait." Edward refused to jog after her and eventually she faded into a crowd. With a sigh, he navigated his way back to their former seats and found them occupied. He took the closest space he could find on the floor and spread himself and their things out to save enough space for his wife when she returned. He worried.

It was nearly half an hour before she returned. Edward was dozing. She sank into the space beside him and again refused to look at him.

He cracked one eye open. "You okay?" he asked quietly. She nodded but the blush crept from her cheeks to her forehead and down her neck. He couldn't see where it ended. "Where've you been?"

Bella shrugged.

"I worried."

Bella shrugged again. "Sorry," she murmured, but Edward didn't catch it. He took her hand.

"What's wrong, really?"

He rubbed circles into her flesh and she was reminded of the comfort Jasper had offered her only a fortnight ago. She relaxed back into the wall from her upright posture.

"N-nothing-" She cleared her throat. "Nothing too bad. I just... I don't really like planes."

"Oh." Bella's blurted confession, Edward's staccato response and the subsequent silence made them both fidget. Bella eventually explained.

"I don't know why exactly. I've always had really bad luck and it's been a fear of mine for pretty much my whole life. That was one more reason why I didn't visit Charlie in Forks when I was living with my mom later on – it was a shorter flight to California. I've never liked planes."

"Have you ever been on a flight this long before?"

She shook her head.

"Is that part of the problem?"

Bella nodded. "Can we, you know, not talk about it? I get more nervous."

"Okay. It's not long 'til we board though. Is there anything that will make you feel better about the flight? Anything at all? Something you want to eat or drink?"

"No. Hopefully I'll sleep it away, but I doubt it. There was that coffee, and I can't sleep when I'm anxious."

"Me neither."

"I just lie in bed and wait for the sun to rise, or the earliest time I can get away with getting up."

"Oh, I can't do that. Can't sit still. I play."

"Play? Like music?" There was a time when Bella's mind would have turned a dirtier way. She smiled with hidden lips. Edward misinterpreted it and smiled back.

"Yeah. I'm a musician, remember?"

"I thought you worked in a record store?"

"Yeah, and the call center, but almost every second of my free time is spent on music - composing, playing, listening."

"What do you play?"

"Keyboards, mostly, although piano's my first love. I'm alright with a guitar and dabbled in a couple of other things – Emmett had a drum kit I experimented with, a few lessons on the violin, the cornet... the recorder. "

"That's the extent of my talent too. Descant recorder, seven years old."

"Are you much of a music fan?"

"Kind of, in the way that everyone is. But not that much."

"I'm going to have to educate you then." They exchanged smiles again.

"Probably." Edward opened his mouth to speak but Bella, who was now contemplating their joined hands, cut him off. "You're really good at this whole comfort thing, you know. You'd completely taken my mind off the flight."

"Want me to continue?"

She nodded. "Please."

"What do you want to do with your life, then?"

"Travel. See the world. Write. Not be my father. Or my mother, for that matter."

"Why not?"

"Can I ask some questions?"

"Later, if you like, but that interested me. Why don't you want to be your parents?"

"I just don't. My dad's a lonely police chief in a small town. He lives this monotonous daily routine interrupted only by fishing trips and a sporadic crime or two."

"And your mother?"

"Let's not, please."

"Okay." They lapsed back into silence as Bella completely shut down.

*

Eventually, they boarded. Edward offered Bella her choice of seats and she scooted in to sit beside the window. Edward took the aisle seat and stretched his legs briefly into the open space.

"Excited?" he asked.

Bella shook her head. She looked slightly green. Edward immediately shuffled through the seat pocket for the obligatory sick bag and thrust it under her chin. Bella pushed it away and put her head in her hands.

"There's nothing at all to worry about," Edward said, rubbing her back. "They say you're more likely to die in a car accident than on a plane."

Bella shivered. "That's not going to help," she mumbled.

"It will until we land, and by then you'll have forgotten it. You'll be fine."

"Not if I keep dissecting that thought. Distract me again?"

"With pleasure." Edward reclined theatrically in the seat and closed his eyes. After a brief minute's thought, he smiled. "You know when we're back home again? Back in Port Angeles?"

"Yes?"

"How are things going to work then?"

Bella turned her head to the side to look at him. She was now only the colour of the sky outside – a bright grey. "What do you mean?"

"Well, where are we going to live? Together? As we were? That kind of thing."

Edward watched as Bella's face returned to her hands with a groan. "Too soon, Edward. I don't even know… I don't even know your _birthday_."

"June 20th. So, are you moving in or not?"

She swivelled in her seat to stare out of the window. After a moment of hopeful waiting, Edward pulled out the complimentary magazine and started to read.

*

"When's your birthday?" he asked at last, well after take-off. He imagined they were half way across the continent by now.

"September." Bella was reading. Edward was pretending to, one headphone in but ears trained on her.

"What day?"

"The thirteenth." Bella turned a page.

"Are we ever going to sustain a conversation?"

"Probably not."

Edward shook his head and put the other headphone in.

*

Edward looked up hopefully when Bella shut her book but she didn't meet his eye. She merely tucked the book between them and leaned against the cabin wall. Edward sighed and decided to stretch his legs.

After chatting to other passengers in the long queue for two cramped cubicles, he made his way slowly back to his seat and found Bella slumped forward again, this time with her forehead resting on shuddering fists.

"Bella? You okay?"

She jumped and looked up at him. One look at his eyes had him sliding back into his seat and casually taking her hand. "What happened?"

She shook her head and dug at her eye with her knuckles. "Nothing. I just panicked."

"The turbulence?"

She nodded. "You were keeping me distracted before, that silly little feud."

"Feud?"

"I wasn't talking to you, remember? You looked so pissed."

"I know. Just distracting you," he teased. "What was all that about, anyway?"

"Kept my mind occupied, thinking about what you'd said, but I couldn't talk at the same time. I don't know what we'll do. It's scary."

"How about we decide later on?"

"When?"

"Just later. Whenever. When we're comfortable. It's too soon now, isn't it?"

"A little."

"We just need to get to know each other a little better. Friends, remember?" He squeezed her hand.

She squeezed back. "Friends."

"So, what were you reading?"

*

The nine hour flight into London passed quickly enough between sleeping, eating and talking. Edward discovered Bella's favourite books and flicked through the one in the seat beside her. In return, he gave her one headphone of his obnoxiously full iPod and took her on a whirlwind tour of his tastes.

Having left Seattle at eleven and flown for nine hours, it was now only midday in London, but the pair were exhausted and after touching down on a reassuringly wet runway, they gathered their luggage with little hassle and found themselves out of instructions with enviable, if not inexhaustible, funding.

"Where do you want to go?" Edward asked. "We can go pretty much anywhere in the country."

"I think we should find a hotel first."

"Here in London?"

"Well, where else?"

"Like I said, anywhere. If we got a little closer to the center of the country we could get just about anywhere in a few hours."

"We can from here. This is _London_."

"Whatever makes you happy, _wifey_."

"Don't," Bella warned, stepping away.

"What?"

"Make fun."

"Sorry." Edward stepped closer again and took one of her bags. "I'm pretty hungry. Let's just sit down somewhere and get something to eat, and we can make a list or something of what we want to do."

"Lists are normally my kind of thing. Sounds good."

They found themselves stumbling half-asleep into their second coffee shop of the day, this time nearly five thousand miles from the first.

* * *

**Notes**

Slightly shorter chapter, but it's a transition. The next four are already in progress, and much easier than this one was.

Kyrene once Blood Roses, Miss-Beckie-Louise and southerngirl915 are my betas and own sizeable chunks of my soul. The leftovers are shared between the Support Stacie ladies – MeiSun13, PrimRoseHill and SassyGeminiMom – and the WA Rehab ladies – Frenchbeanz, allysue08 and spellboundagain.

Sorry about the wait. First, life bent me over the table by confirming my unemployment, then it proceeded to fuck me over in a dozen spectacular ways, culminating in the mind-blowing orgasm that was Fresher's Week (my first week at University). The next chapter will not take so long, promise.

Thank you for reading; FFn emails were the little things that salvaged my days in the fail.

**14th January 2010: **This is the point where a lot of people seem to abandon the fic because Bella's being, well, a complete bitch...

Put yourself into her shoes, just for a minute.

She's 5,000 miles from home with a guy she's only known a matter of hours, and she's married to him. Her parents' marriage broke down somewhat spectacularly and overshadowed her whole childhood. She may well have a history that's not been explored yet, and she's nervous as hell about, quite simply, sex and general intimacy. As such, she's cold and abrasive and it's a self-defence mechanism. If she pushes Edward away, he can't hurt her either emotionally or physically. But she's stuck with him for two weeks now... Surely things will get a little better..?

Oh, and she doesn't like flying and just suffered through a nine hour Transatlantic flight. I'd be pretty bitchy on principle.

Sorry for the beasty A/N - it won't happen again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Blind Faith**

**Disclaimer**

_Twilight_ and its characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended and all creative rights to these characters belong to their original author. No profit is being made from this story.

Based very loosely on a true story, shamelessly extrapolated and mutilated and moved to the other side of the Atlantic.

Have you ever tried reading on 1/2, or even 3/4? It makes it pretty.

**

* * *

****Chapter 5**

They plotted the rest of their day and outlined the fortnight over a much-needed coffee. Edward again ordered something overly complex and expensive and only sipped his way through half. Bella ordered a small, plain cappuccino – the cheapest thing on the menu – and drained it almost immediately.

They agreed to split their time between London and exploring the rest of the country. After perusing a stack of leaflets on the sticky table and making notes in Bella's notepad, they decided to spend a little time in different parts of the country. They would start further North and make their way back to London and their flight home via the south coast when it was – hopefully – a little warmer and drier.

Edward left Bella with the last of the leaflets and a second coffee - on him - while he sorted their car, and they were on their way by late afternoon, arriving at their hotel two hours later.

This room was much nicer than the last. Edward offered to carry Bella over the threshold, but she politely refused and let them in. At the sight of half a dozen cushions and a thick cover, she sprawled out over the bed, face-down. Edward laughed and excused himself to collect the bags from the car. When he returned, Bella was sitting up again, waiting. She was squeezing the sides of a pillow in her lap.

"I've been thinking."

"I hope so," he quipped. "About what?"

"About how this is going to work."

"Oh. Like what?"

"Like how we're... where... where we'll sleep, you know?"

"And your thoughts?"

"Well, it's not fair for you to sleep on the floor every night for two weeks. I was thinking maybe we could swap - I'll take the floor every other night, or maybe me this week and you next week. I don't know. What do you think?"

Edward dropped the bags unceremoniously beside the bathroom door and flopped down next to his wife.

"I think... that wouldn't work."

"Why not?" Bella asked.

He counted the reasons on his fingers. "Well, first of all, it's unhygienic for us to alternate, I think. Second, I don't want you sleeping on the floor at all while we're here."

"But you can't every night."

Edward laughed again. "I can, but I won't. We _could_ compromise, you know, or do something _really_ radical."

"What's that?"

Edward grinned and drew out the silence.

Bella leaned forward. "Come on Edward, what?"

"Share," he teased.

There was silence. Bella showed no sign of answering and Edward continued to smirk. "Surely it's not _that_ repulsive an idea..."

Bella shook her head but remained mute a moment longer. "No, not really... It's just... weird."

"Do you trust me, Bella?"

"Not really, no."

Edward laughed. "I suppose that's fair. But you have my promise - whatever it's worth to you - that I'm not going to try anything. How about this, then? I bet I go to sleep later than you, so we'll get a second blanket, and I'll just curl up with a separate cover after you've drifted off, provided you can stay on your side of the bed. I'll probably wake up first too. You'd never even know I was there."

Now Bella sighed. "I... I guess we could try that. You don't mind?"

"Not at all." Edward grabbed her hand and squeezed. "You're stuck with me for a while; I'm going to do what I can to make it anything less than excruciating. But right now, I think we should get some sleep."

"Yeah. You're probably right. So, am I..?" She waved one hand at the bed and Edward nodded.

With the time difference, the long flight and subsequent two-hour drive, neither were fit to go out or even talk despite the bright daylight seeping through the thin curtains. Edward kept himself awake a little longer with a drawn-out shower, but Bella promptly passed out on her side of the bed.

Edward set an alarm for the next morning to help recover from the jetlag, and didn't even bother with the second blanket. He fell asleep on top of the covers, as far from Bella as he could balance himself.

*****

Bella woke up and was only startled for a second by the weight of a second person in her bed. She rolled over to face him and heard his breathing change. They were both awake. They lay in silence for a few minutes, Bella's eyes open and Edward's closed. Then she glanced at the clock. It was a little past 3am.

"Edward?" she murmured. He had been almost perfectly still.

His eyes flew open wide, startled. "Wha-? Huh? I was dozing. Sorry." He sat up to read his watch.

"No, my fault." Bella sat up too and pulled her legs free of the covers. "I'm hungry. I'm going to get food. Do you want anything?"

He blinked through squinted eyes. "Bella, you do know what time it is?"

"Just after three. Do you want anything to eat, to drink?"

"No, thanks." Edward yawned and stretched. "What do you want? And where are you going?"

"Not sure. Whatever I can find downstairs. I'll be back in a bit."

"No. No, you don't. I'll go. You stay here; it's too late for you to be wandering about alone." Yawning again, he crawled out of bed and to his suitcase. In a 3am-appropriate state of dishabille, he turned back to Bella with a lazy smile. "Keep that spot warm for me, alright?"

She smiled back. While she wanted to argue that she wasn't made of glass, she couldn't drive the car on their insurance and didn't _really_ want to get up. "Okay. But don't take long. I'm not sure whether I'd rather be bored in here or out there alone."

Edward turned back and took his shirt off again, changing it for another less wrinkled one. "Alright. Never mind then. Get up," he said. "We're going for breakfast."

"At three in the morning? Where?"

"A twenty-four hour place? I don't know. I don't think they have diners here. We'll find something, even if it's just a McDonalds. Come on." He held out his hand.

Bella grinned. It was totally unlike her, but if she was ever going to change and loosen up, now was the time. She scrambled out after him and when both of them looked as though they'd dressed in the dark at an hour of the morning that should not exist, Edward led Bella by the hand down to their rental car. He yawned again as he unlocked the door.

*

In the end, all they could find _was_ a McDonalds. Bella had her face in her hands, shoulders shaking, as Edward argued with a tired voice over the speaker.

"What do you mean you don't do breakfast?"

"We don't serve breakfast until five a.m., sir," the boy said. "I'm sorry."

"Why the hell not?"

"I don't know, sir. Look, you can have anything you like off the regular menu."

"How old are you, kid?"

"Edward!" Bella squealed through her embarrassed laughter. "Just order something." Edward turned to her with a smirk and shook his head, mouthing at her to just wait.

"I… eighteen, sir."

"Right. Old enough to be able to answer a couple of questions. First of all, what time is it?"

"Just gone four..."

"More precisely?"

"Four seventeen."

"And you'd agree it's the morning, yes?"

The boy grunted. "I guess."

"And what's the traditional morning meal?"

"Sir, we _don't_ serve breakfast at this time. Please, there's a queue. Just… oh, fine. What do you want?"

"Thank you." Edward glanced at Bella. She was hiding bright red cheeks behind her hands. He turned back to the intercom. "You'll have to remember that customer-is-always-right thing in the future. It'll save you the hassle of a queue at this time of day. We'll take... Hmmm, I don't know. Bella?"

"Whatever you're having," Bella said. "With diet coke."

Edward pulled a face. "Ugh. That stuff's disgusting. Whatever." He turned back to the speaker. "Two chicken nugget meals, two cokes."

"Edward!" Bella shrieked. "That's not fair!" She leaned over the gearstick to call, "Make one a diet coke."

Edward grinned. "You get that, kid?"

"Window two," was the response.

Edward turned back to Bella. "I thought you meant me not ordering breakfast wasn't fair, but you're just more concerned about your diet coke, aren't you?" he teased.

When they drove round, the window was open with the food on the sill, but the boy was nowhere to be seen. Bella laughed again, a blue-tinted shade of pink in the light of the LCD radio's display, and Edward handed her the food. "That was fun, wasn't it? And free food. We'll have to come back again."

"No," Bella said, adamant. "And we're not staying here now. That boy's probably so angry now he'll come out and squish one of those breakfasts all over your lovely face."

"Lovely, huh?" Edward laughed, eyes flicking from the road to her face and back again.

Bella blushed deeper and they returned to silence, broken only by Edward's sigh.

Back at the hotel, they ate in the parking lot in silence, then stumbled up to their room and back into bed. Despite the tension after Bella's slip and Edward's acknowledgement of it, both fell asleep smiling.

*****

"Where do you want to go today?" Edward asked. They were laying in bed next to each other. Neither had opened their eyes yet but the alarm they'd set for nine had gone off and they knew they should get up soon if they were going to get used to the time zone.

"I don't mind. You?"

"Maybe we should stay local."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

"You a reader as well as a writer?"

"Yeah… Why?"

"We're not far from Shakespeare's hometown. We could go have a look around over there. And there's probably a play on somewhere. Your choice, of course, being the more interested party."

"If you don't want to, we don't have to."

"I'd like to. I could do with a little more culture."

"I could do with a little more spontaneity."

"Well, let's be cultured today and head over to Stratford, and then I'll amuse us tomorrow."

"That sounds good."

They still didn't move. Edward stretched, but kept his eyes closed. "As fun as this all might be, I don't want to get up," he said.

"Neither do I."

"Another hour?" Edward rolled to face Bella.

Bella snuggled further under the covers facing him, pulling them up to her chin. "Sounds like a plan."

*

"I'm hungry," Edward said at last. They'd been laying on their opposite sides of the bed, awake but unmoving, for quite some time.

"Me too."

"Do you think we should rectify that?"

"Maybe."

"Breakfast?"

Bella yawned. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. But _not_ McDonalds." She reached to the table for her cell phone. "Christ, it's well past midday. I think this is lunch."

"Well, lunch it is then," Edward said, sitting up with his legs over the side of the bed and stretching. "I skip breakfast often enough anyway," he yawned. Bella surprised herself by ogling him but averted her eyes before he turned back. "Where do you want to go?" he asked, pulling on a T-shirt from the floor. He smiled at the mess they had made in just a few hours.

"Anywhere that serves hot food," Bella said. "It looks miserable outside."

Edward glanced over at the grey scene outside the windows as he stood. "I hadn't heard any rain."

"I don't think it's raining. It just looks cold. And miserable."

"Hey, it's better than Port Angeles."

"Definitely." Bella hesitated. She had sat up in bed, but still had the covers clutched to her chest to hide what her pyjamas didn't. Edward was now on his knees, searching through his case against the wall, but Bella didn't want to get up in case he turned around before she made it into the bathroom. "Edward?" she asked, tentatively.

"Bella?" He turned and smiled.

"Could you, maybe, you know… promise not to turn around?"

A lazy grin spawned across Edward's face. "Sure. I'll stay right here." He sat down from his crouch and continued to grin. Bella felt her cheeks burn.

"You know what I mean. Please?"

The mirth faded from Edward's eyes and his grin shrunk into a one-sided smile. "Of course, but you really are beautiful, Bella."

Bella ducked her head and looked away. She was sure she was red up beyond her hairline and down below her collarbones. "Don't tease me, Edward," she said. "It's neither fair nor funny."

The playfulness vanished altogether. "I'm not teasing, Bella." Neither met the other's eye. After a long quiet, Edward sighed. "Go get ready. I'll be ready to go when you are." He went back to his case and stayed there, eyes on the net over the zipped section. Bella scurried into the bathroom.

*

The mood was still awkward as they went down to their rental car. They kept up the silence until they were out of the parking lot and it was necessary for Edward to ask where they were going.

"I don't mind," Bella said. "Honestly, anywhere."

"Except McDonalds?"

"Yeah." Bella smiled.

"We should do something British," Edward suggested.

"Like what?"

Edward shrugged. "I don't know. We're in the middle of the countryside though. We should be able to find something. What about a good old-fashioned pub?"

Bella grimaced.

"No, really," Edward said. "My dad, Carlisle, he studied here as a student, and he says that the best thing about this country was the pubs."

"Seriously?"

"No, not really, but he did say he spent a lot of time in them."

"A student's favourite hangout isn't necessarily the ideal spot for a honeymoon."

Edward laughed and quirked an eyebrow, looking over at Bella. "I thought you were keeping this completely platonic, in which case it doesn't matter."

Bella blushed. "Stop it, and eyes on the road. I'm just saying."

"And I'm saying that a picturesque little English country pub is probably a very pleasant place to get some lunch on a lazy afternoon. And since you won't pick anything, the choice is mine by default."

Bella huffed. "Fine. A pub it is."

It took no time at all for them to be lost meandering through rural lanes, and not much longer after that for them to find a village with a small, traditional pub.

Edward smirked triumphantly as he parked a little further down the village and got out to look at the scenery.

"It's pretty," Bella said.

Edward hummed. "Yes, very. And so are you."

"Edward…"

"I know. Don't tease. I'm not teasing, Bella, and I'm going to keep saying it until you believe me."

"Please don't."

"I will, Bella. You'd better get used to it."

Bella shook her head and strode off down the hill. Edward jogged after her. "Sorry Bella, but you have some self-esteem issues I'm going to fix."

Bella spun around and Edward nearly tumbled trying to stop quickly enough. "You don't have to fix a thing," Bella said quietly. Her eyes were narrowed and latched onto his, her chin angled down, and even Edward knew not to mess with her any more.

"You're right," he said. "I'm sorry."

Bella turned and carried on into the pub.

*

Conversation was negligible for their first half an hour together. They had stood together but ordered separately and without conversation, then Bella had unilaterally chosen a table under a window. Edward sat opposite her and tried to meet her gaze, but Bella kept her eyes firmly on the thatched cottage across the road. It was the only one she'd seen so far; they were rare.

When their food arrived and Bella still hadn't said a word to him, Edward gave up. While Bella was pondering the local architecture, Edward was looking the other way and could see children playing in a garden to the rear of the pub and his sudden guilt made him blurt a significant question without thinking.

"Do you want kids someday?" Edward asked. Bella nearly spat out her lunch.

"What?!"

Edward shrugged, apologetic, but relieved she was speaking again. "It's just a question. I take that as at least a 'not any time soon', right?"

"Yeah. Right." Bella made a show of chewing and swallowing deliberately, then set down her cutlery and folded her hands in front of her plate. "We've only known each other for a week. Why do you ask?"

Edward shrugged again. "Just a question, and one I think most people know their spouse's answer to."

"We're hardly 'most people', Edward. We've only known each other ten days, and only by our real names for two."

"Still, what's the answer?"

"What's the concern?"

Each was trying to stare the other down. Edward relented. He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Just… just forget I even asked."

"Edward?"

"Just drop it, Bella." He had ducked his head; Bella was used to him always trying to meet her eye. She picked up her fork and stabbed at a potato. She wasn't sure whether the butterflies in her stomach were worry or irritation.

"The answer was no," she mumbled, "at least not any time soon."

Edward pushed his plate away and fled the table.

*

Bella was pushing the last of her peas around the plate when Edward returned. He pulled the chair out with a harsh squeal and dropped into it like a stone.

"I'm sorry," he said. His eyes were on the napkin twisting in his hands.

"What did I say, Edward?"

"It doesn't matter."

"No, I should know. What was it that upset you?

"Just drop it, Bella."

"But-"

"Drop it."

Bella dropped her fork. "Edwa-"

Edward held up a hand. "Stop. Please. I'll… I'll tell you soon. Sometime. Just… not yet. Let's get to know one another a little more first. I don't want us walking on eggshells."

"Any more than we already are."

"If you'll just make an effort…"

Bella sighed and leaned back in her chair, blinking heavily. There were confused tears threatening to well up and she fought them down. He was feeling bad enough about _something_ already.

"Maybe we need – I don't know – a couple of taboo subjects? Things to avoid?"

"No, I don't think that's-"

"No, it might work, Edward. We're walking on eggshells already. At least that'd give us a map to avoid the _really_ messy parts. I mean, I don't think we're ready to talk about the big things yet."

"Like what?"

Bella blushed pink. "Just… things. Big, married couple-y kind of things. Money, _children_… co-cohabitation-"

Edward laughed. "Cohabitation? That's a new word for it. But I suppose 'fornication' doesn't really work here, does it?"

Bella scowled, but her face turned a deeper red. "I didn't mean _sex_," she spat. "I meant living together and stuff."

"I haven't asked you to move in."

"Who says I wasn't going to ask you?"

"You, by implication. And you live with Alice and Jasper - wouldn't work, Bella. God… Can you imagine that? I could not live with that… that _gremlin_."

"Alice? Alice is not a gremlin."

"Well, I didn't mean Jasper. He's more of a… well, I don't know. And maybe gremlin's not quite right for Alice. She's certainly a little too chirpy for that. One of those things they used for gremlins in the movie? You know, the really annoying furry toys?"

The corners of Bella's lips twitched; she hid them with a hand over her mouth.

Edward laughed. "You're smiling. I can see it." The corners of Bella's eyes crinkled further and her shoulders started to quiver. Edward leaned in, grinning. "You know you agree with me really. I'm sure she's nice, but she is a gremlin. _Gremliiin_." Edward leaned forward and waggled his fingers at her and Bella finally couldn't hold back her laughter. Edward smirked. "Now that I've insulted your best friend, no more eggshells for today?"

"No more eggshells," Bella managed between giggles. "But Alice is _not_ a gremlin."

*****

After telling stories of his brother's escapades to make Bella laugh so hard she spat out her dessert, Edward drove them into Stratford by mid-afternoon. They walked aimlessly side-by-side next to the river Avon, Bella with her arms self-consciously folded across her chest and Edward with his hands in his pockets. They didn't look at one another and were careful not to touch, but their hips were close enough to nearly brush every few steps.

They had booked tickets for the only play showing that evening, _The Winter's Tale_. Now they were just trying to pass time until the 7.30pm start.

"It turned out to be a nicer day than we expected," Edward said, looking up at the sky; Bella didn't miss the two meanings.

"Not nearly as grey as I thought, no. Apart from a few rainy spells, it's been okay."

Edward hummed his agreement and pointed at a free bench on the waterfront just ahead. When Bella sat down, he stretched out next to her and inclined his head lazily in her direction, but his eyes were fierce. "Hopefully the sun will be out again this week?"

Bella smiled but her eyes were on the ducks on the water. "Hopefully. The clouds will have to be careful not to scare the sun away though."

"The clouds are going to be very careful," Edward said. He took Bella's hand from her lap and squeezed it briefly. "Very careful."

*

"That was weird," Edward said as they came out of the theatre.

"Very," Bella said. "Like two plays, but that's kind of the point."

"I guess. I'm not an enormous Shakespeare fan, really."

"He's not my favourite, but I do like him."

"Why?"

"I like his stories, and I like his words."

"Well, that's what writers do. They make words make stories. But I think the impact of the words all come down to the actors, and didn't he steal all of his stories?"

"Not steal, they borrow. All writers borrow."

"I suppose you would know," Edward teased.

Bella slapped his arm. "Shush."

Edward laughed. "Weird play for newlyweds to see," he said, still smiling.

"Why?" Bella was nearly skipping as they walked past the river again to get to the parking lot. "You mean the whole tragedy part?"

"Yeah. Although I suppose there are useful lessons in there."

"Like what?"

"Well, not to jump to conclusions. Leontes assumes his wife's having an affair, and then shit hits the fan."

"And he didn't talk to her. It was all in his head." Bella slowed down. "You'll talk to me about things, right?"

Edward hesitated. He was glad Bella was a little ahead and couldn't see his face. He raked a hand through his hair and carried on the discussion without answering her question. "Exactly. He jumped to conclusions, refused to listen to logic, wouldn't talk to his wife, abused his power… and it killed his wife and his son."

"But he got her back. Not that the whole resurrection thing wasn't completely bizarre."

"Did he really? She didn't talk to him at the end, only Perdita. And he never did get his son back."

"I thought I was the lit kid."

"Doesn't mean I don't appreciate a good story. I have superlative powers of observation."

Bella turned around and walked backwards, laughing, surprised at her ease with him. "Really? And of distraction. You didn't answer my question from earlier."

Edward paused for a moment. "Always," he said. "If it matters, you'll know." Bella smiled and he offered a poor imitation in return. She twirled round to face the right way again, and Edward murmured to himself, "eventually."

*

After spending Monday evening in Stratford, Bella was enamoured with the city and talked Edward into going back on Wednesday, her next day to decide what to do. After shopping for no more than an hour in the morning, they got lunch and then Bella dragged Edward down to the river again, wanting to go for a sail.

Edward laughingly agreed and followed her down. When they were out on the water, Edward started up the small talk until Bella seemed relaxed enough for him to take her hand.

"So, what do your parents do?" he asked.

"My mom was a teacher, and my dad's the police chief in my hometown."

"Was?"

"Yeah. She doesn't work any more. She travels."

"Lucky her. How long have your parents been married?" he asked, stroking the back of Bella's hand with his thumb. They were sat well away from everyone else. Edward let go when Bella tugged her hand away. "What?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head then faced out over the water, shoulders rigid and back straight. "They weren't even married for two years."

"Oh. Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. They just didn't match. It would never have worked. They were high school sweethearts, got married straight away, and I followed not too long after. My mom left when I was so young that I can't remember the two of them together. She remarried nearly ten years ago, but my dad is still alone. He had one girlfriend, his friend's widow, but that's it in twenty-one years."

"I'm really sorry."

"Stop saying that. Don't be. It's fine. What about your parents?"

Edward was sheepish with his answer, stroking her hand again, hesitant and gingerly this time. "Thirty years, more or less."

"Wow."

"I know."

"What's their secret?" Bella smiled, but there was still something melancholy in her eyes.

"I don't know. We'll have to ask them."

"Okay." She grimaced.

"Bella?"

"Mmmm?"

"I like this," Edward said, holding up her hand. "Can we just stay like this for a while?"

"Even though we're married, and you're a guy?"

"Yes, even though we're married, and even though I'm a guy."

*

Exhausted from the travelling of the first week, Bella and Edward used their Saturday as a day of rest in the hotel room, with Edward highly eager to spend Sunday at a free music festival.

"But we'll need something to do," Bella had said when they agreed on a lazy day. It was just after midnight.

Edward simply shrugged. "Alright," he said from the armchair in the corner. He waited there most nights until he wanted to sleep. There was a dim lamp that afforded him enough light for whatever he decided to do without disturbing Bella, especially if she faced away from him. He stood and stretched. "Get up. We're going shopping."

"What?" Bella groaned, rolling over in bed and blinking at him. "It's well past midnight, Edward."

"I know."

"So where are we going?"

"A supermarket. We passed one a couple of days ago that was pretty big and open 24 hours. We'll get all the things we need from their so we don't have to leave this room until Sunday afternoon."

"Like what?"

Edward grinned.

"Behave," Bella said. "Like _what_, Edward?" She smiled too; the patches of eggshells for them to cross were growing further and further apart. Both of them were more playful now, took more risks.

"Well, it is the fourth of July… we have to have some kind of party."

"We can't have a barbecue in the hotel room. Or fireworks."

"No, but we can still do _something_. Come on. Let's go."

Bella smiled, scrambled out of bed, and they were peeling out of the parking lot within minutes.

*

"In you go…" Edward said, stalking towards Bella, arms out. She stumbled backwards and he grabbed her while she was off-balance, lifting her and sitting her in the large shopping cart.

Bella tried to stand up but Edward nudged her back down with a hand on her shoulder. "You're not getting out. I'm going to push, and you're going to grab things, okay?"

"This is stupid. You'll get us kicked out before we reach the end of the first aisle."

"Bella, it's the middle of the night. From the looks of the parking lot, there's probably nobody around to notice. No shrieking and we'll be fine."

Bella shook her head. "If someone stops us, I'm blaming you."

"Whatever, Cullen. You'll have to-" Edward noticed Bella had blanched. "What? Oh, shit. Sorry…"

Bella shrugged, shook her head, but didn't look up. "No, no. It's fine. Let's go in, yeah?"

Edward pushed slowly and Bella adjusted herself in the space, back against the far end of the cart and feet against Edward's.

"It's better than wifey," Bella offered diplomatically. "I'm sorry. It still scares me a little."

"Me too," Edward said. "Joking makes it easier."

"I think we need ice cream."

"Strawberry?"

"I prefer chocolate."

"Let's get both then."

When Bella opened her mouth to argue, Edward silenced her with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, fine," she conceded. "We can see if they have that Gremlins movie."

He laughed. "Sure." He stopped. "Think you _can_ stand up in there?"

Bella shrugged. "My lack of co-ordination is infamous, but I can try."

"Have a go, and then hold on."

"Okay…" Bella was hesitant, but stood hunched forward in the space, fingers loosely wrapped around the sides. "What are we doing?"

"You're holding on, right?"

"Yes… Edward, no. No!"

He grinned and started to jog. Bella squealed and grasped the sides of the cart with both hands, crouching to stay upright and inside.

"Edward, stop it!" she shrieked through laughter. "There's no way I can let go to grab stuff while you're going so fast. And I feel a little sick. Please let me get out?"

Edward shook his head. "Not yet. You can stay in there. You'll just point out things you want, alright?"

"If you like the idea of being in here so much, why don't you get in?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"I wouldn't fit."

"Go on… I _dare _you."

Edward sighed. "Fine. Out you get."

Bella stood up and put her hands on Edward's shoulders to balance herself. With his hands on her hips, she jumped and he lifted, but her foot still caught against the side of the cart and it toppled sideways towards them. Edward and Bella stumbled into a display of disposable cameras, laughing as they landed on their backs among the scattered stock.

"Ow," Bella groaned.

"Hey!" A young employee was looking less bored and more irate as he strode over. "What do you two think you're doing?"

"Sorry," Edward said. "My wife here got herself stuck, and we fell over."

"Maybe you should stay out of the trolleys. They're not toys."

"Maybe. You're right," Edward said. "We're sorry. We'll just get what we need and go." He grabbed Bella's wrist and manoeuvred them into another aisle before giving the bemused employee chance to react.

"Let's just get that ice cream and stuff for tomorrow and get out of here before they throw us out," Bella hissed.

Edward laughed. "Don't worry. They're probably not that bothered, and we'll be good now… kind of."

Bella ducked away from him and around the corner. Edward quickly followed. "You find the gremlin movie, and I'll grab us some ice cream."

"And spoons?"

"And spoons. Be good." She slapped his arm and meandered to the freezers at the far side of the store.

*

When Bella returned, Edward was still flicking through the racks of DVDs. He had two tucked under his arm, but was frowning as he turned one over and skimmed the back, then replaced it.

"Any luck?" Bella asked.

"No. You?"

She held up her booty - two medium-sized tubs of ice cream and a pack of six teaspoons. "Yep. Bring whatever you have there, and meet me at the front in five minutes with our food for the day."

She vanished.

*

The next day was quiet. Neither really got out of bed except for necessities. They watched Edward's silly movies, ate the food he had managed to find in his four and a half minute sprint around the supermarket, and played games, one over a bottle – or two – of wine.

In bed that night, it was Bella who made the first move.

"Edward?" she said.

"Mmmm?"

"I'm cold."

"Okay."

"Can I… you know…"

"What?"

"Can I…" She shuffled closer. He rolled onto his back from where he'd been facing away.

"Can you what, Bella?"

"Umm… I don't… Can I just show you?"

"Sure." Edward angled his body a little more towards her, and Bella smiled, eyes not on his face, as she slowly shuffled closer, pulling her quilt with her. She snuggled right against his side and pulled her quilt over the top of his, then rested her head on his chest.

"Is this okay?" she asked.

Edward, stunned by her closeness, took a moment to respond. "S-sure. Yeah, that's… that's fine."

He lifted his hand up and it hovered above her head for a moment, before he let it fall back down onto the mattress at his side. When Bella's breathing slowed into a constant, steady rhythm, he raised it again and tentatively stroked her hair. Bella nuzzled her face into his chest and Edward slowly dropped back off to sleep again, his wife curled up against him.

**

* * *

****Notes**

Awww.

Ever tormented a McDonalds employee at 4am? I have. Never played with trolleys at 2am though – more like an Ikea trolley through town at 5am. That was a bizarre night.

Anyway, so much love this time…

Kyrene is just magic. _A Song with No Words_ is spectacular and I can't imagine life without _Venenum_, so if you're not reading them you should be. She beta'd my one-shot, _L'Heure Bleue_, even though it was her birthday present, and unintentionally fixes plotholes we don't know are there. She's an instinctual super-beta. southerngirl915 makes wagers to get me to write and recs Stone Sour songs and calls me Ma'am. Miss-Beckie-Louise deserves an award for tolerating my beta-fail of her fics, especially _Volturi Queen_ - if you're a Volturi fan, try it. AngstGoddess003 made a pretty banner for this story that I gaze at lovingly… a lot. Fandom Gives Back made my year; Team Rehab saved my ass from getting a lot smaller due to starvation – joke, really - and WA Rehab is awesome. I wish I could glomp all those ladies. Shereebedee is particular win for encouraging that phone/pizza stunt...

The next chapter is so nearly done it's scary. This is win. Epic A/Ns are not win. Sorry.

And everyonewho even reads this mess, or _L'Heure Bleue_, makes me the happiest nocturnal student ever. Really.


	6. Chapter 6

**Blind Faith**

**Disclaimer**

_Twilight_ and its characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended and all creative rights to these characters belong to their original author. No profit is being made from this story.

Based very loosely on a true story, shamelessly extrapolated and mutilated and moved to the other side of the Atlantic.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Edward was careful to be in the armchair the next morning when Bella woke up.

After finding himself warmer than usual and with a tickling sensation against his chin, his eyes had widened and the headache kicked in, but he knew his head wouldn't be pounding nearly as painfully as Bella's. She'd had half a bottle of wine more than him, and he couldn't imagine her as a seasoned drinker. He wondered if she was – something else he hadn't found out yet.

And she was cuddled against him. Edward gingerly lifted the arm she'd flung across his stomach and rolled Bella onto her back. He pushed himself out of bed and shivered across to his chair, leaving Bella tangled in both of their covers. He wrapped himself in a large towel for warmth and picked up a book. Edward had turned the pages of two chapters when Bella's groan tore his attention from the words he'd been skimming.

"Morning, sunshine," he said. Bella squinted at him.

"My head hurts," she said.

"Yeah." He chuckled uneasily. "That would be last night's wine. But don't worry; the elves are hard at work with their toy hammers in my head too."

"If they're elves, it must be Christmas Eve in here…" She balled her hands into fists over her eyes to block out the light.

Edward laughed. "Yeah, I know what you mean, and we have our festival today."

"Oh, what?" She groaned again. "We're still going?"

"Yeah," Edward said. "Trust me, it'll be a memorable experience." Bella shook her head, then winced.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"I don't know. You tell me. My watch is on the side over there."

Bella felt around for it, eyes still squeezed shut, and knocked it to the floor with a curse. Edward laughed. He got up and read the time from the floor. "Nearly eleven. Time to get up, sleeping beauty. We've got places to be."

Bella groaned again. "What did we _do_?"

"We drank two bottles of wine. I think you wanted to start the third before I pried the glass out of your hand. Do you remember everything else?"

"Yeah," Bella said, but then her eyes widened as she remembered something more. "Did I really..?"

Edward smirked. "Maybe you do like me more than you let on."

Bella opened her mouth but no words came out, and Edward laughed.

"Get up," he said. "We're leaving at midday, even if I have to lift you out of bed and carry you down to the car myself."

*

Bella took a while to get ready. It was out of character, but everything was taking her twice as long that morning. They left just after midday, and an hour later they had parked and trudged into the festival as part of a loud crowd, all dressed properly for the warm day, although Bella still spied a few umbrellas.

"Come on," Edward said, grabbing Bella's hand and trying to pull her across the field with the two stages and dozens of stands. When he entwined their fingers, she froze, and he noticed the tension. "What's wrong?"

She wouldn't meet his eye but tugged at his hand. "What?" he asked, grinning again. "It's just so you won't get lost." He laughed, and Bella relaxed a little.

"Sorry… I'm overreacting. It's 'cos we're, well, in public, and it's weird."

"I'm only playing, Bella, but neither of us want you to get lost. We've done this plenty of times before, and friends - if that's still all we are - hold hands all the time too. And we're married. And it's the twenty-first century. What's wrong with this? Come on."

As Edward led her firmly through the crowds and out to the stalls at the other side, Bella tried not to let her mind linger on how warm Edward's hand was in hers, how dry and smooth. He was her friend - _only_ her friend – but he'd never taken her hand so casually or for so long before.

Edward spotted something in the distance and laughed aloud. He tugged Bella's arm. "Come on. This is _so_ British." He set off at a jog and Bella, squealing, stumbled along behind him. They giggled like children as they ran and were still laughing as they caught their breath.

"Strawberries? And cream?" Bella gasped, hunched forward slightly. There was some fundamentally British event, one where they served strawberries and cream. She tried to remember. "This… Yeah, this is British. It's… um… Ascot?"

"Wimbledon," Edward said, shaking his head. "You know, _tennis_? Come on, Bella…"

He didn't let go of Bella as he sweet-talked the attendant, and she was rather generous with the portions in return. Edward shot her a knee-buckling smile and she seemed to visibly melt. Bella wondered if she looked like that sometimes, and then she realised Edward had never used that smile on her. Then again, she'd done everything she could to avoid it.

Edward handed the larger of the pots to Bella and sighed.

"I guess I am going to have to let go of your hand now so you can eat. Unless you want me to try feeding you?" he teased.

Bella blanched. "No. No way." She pulled her hand away. "I can feed myself, thank you." An unwilling smile crept across her face. "Maybe next time," she teased back.

"I'm holding you to that."

*

They wandered.

They bought souvenirs, gorged themselves on anything that caught their fancy. It wasn't long before the crowds were swarming around the stage and Edward took Bella's hand again as they weaved their way in. When they were towards the front of the crowd, Edward spun Bella around to face him and tried to get her to move. Bella refused, adamant.

"Come on, Bella," he pleaded. "Dance with me, please? Nobody's watching."

"We're in the middle of a huge crowd, Edward! They're all watching!"

"No, they're not. They're all listening, and dancing themselves. If you look around, everyone's moving a little. All I'm asking is for you to move with me. Nothing extravagant, I promise."

"No…" she said, backing away. "Please. I really don't want to…"

"Come on, Bella, it's not so bad." He grabbed one of her hands and pulled her back towards him. Then he grabbed the other and held them both in one hand against his chest, the other hand on her waist to guide her.

"See, this isn't so bad, is it?"

Bella was bright red and her eyes were on the floor. "Please stop, Edward. I don't want to do this."

"Bella, loosen up. It's fun, really."

Bella kept trying to pull away and Edward kept her close; she was slowly getting there. "If you dance, Bella, I'm yours for the rest of the day, or longer. Whatever it takes."

She met his eye. "The week?" she asked. "I pick everything?"

Edward shrugged. "You'd better dance well. No pressure or anything." He tried to move her again, and this time she went with it. Before long, Edward let go of her hands and she was laughing as Edward sang the words in her ear. She shivered.

"This song's familiar," she said, "but I can't place it."

"He's very good. Newton Faulkner. I have one of his albums in my 'happy' collection at home. You can borrow it sometime, if you like."

"That'd be nice."

Edward kept her dancing until the act was over and it had started to rain, then they ran laughing back to the car and sat inside catching their breath.

"That was… not bad," Bella said.

"You're not a bad dancer."

"Don't try to flatter me."

"I wasn't. It's true. I'll make you dance again before the end of the week no matter what."

Bella shook her head. "I dare you." Then she grinned. "And actually, I think I own you now. What should we do?"

Edward's smile wasn't playful. He wiped some of the wet hair out of his eyes. "You already owned me, Bella," he said quietly.

"Yeah," she breathed. "I think I know what you mean."

*

Edward stopped getting up in the mornings when he woke before Bella. He wondered if it was laziness, or perhaps it was the woman who now habitually curled into his side, softly snoring and drifting up and down with his chest.

Playing with her hair the night before had made Bella sleep effortlessly, and her rhythmic breathing meant he wasn't far behind. It was a relief; he wasn't expecting things to be so comfortable so soon, especially sharing the bed. However, except for the boundary-blurring cuddling and hand-holding, their honeymoon had been entirely platonic - not even so much as a cheek kiss. He would have to correct that soon.

When Edward thought he was running out of patience for her to move so he could get up without disturbing her, she started to talk. He pulled his lips together to try to suspend his laughter; a smirk still broke through, but no sound.

"It's okay, Dad..." she started. "Mmm... I know." Her voice was melodious, even while sleepy and slurring. "I love you." He hoped that was still her father. "Avocados. Two." Then he laughed.

He tried to stay as still as possible and stifle the gasps but he doubted it was working. Despite his best efforts, she soon groaned and yawned, stretching, hitting him in the nose with her stretched arms.

"Ow," he grumbled.

Bella sat up straight, tense, flushed a deep scarlet, and wide awake. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. Does it hurt? Can I get you something?" She was leaning over him, her hand over his, protecting his nose. It would be as red as her cheeks for a short while.

"No, it's fine," Edward said, removing her hand with his and sitting up with a grimace. "No permanent damage."

Bella traced the line of his nose with a finger. "Good. You have a pretty nose."

Edward couldn't help it; he laughed again. Somehow, the colour in her face grew even more concentrated and she hid behind a wall of mahogany hair.

"Sorry, that's just the weirdest thing anybody has ever said to me... And probably the loveliest." He ducked his eyes to her level, their faces just inches apart, and nudged open the curtain of hair. "Thank you."

She smiled. The colour had faded slightly to a beautiful rosy shade and when her cheeks lifted up and her eyes shone, she was one of the most beautiful women Edward had ever seen. He marvelled that by some twist of fate she was his wife. He brushed her hair properly out of her face and leaned in closer. Feeling her tense, he changed his direction and brushed his lips against her temple. Then he let her hair go and moved away.

"So, what would you like to do today?" he asked with a smile. "I'm yours to command."

Bella was the colour of rubies. "I don't mind," she said, but the words caught. Shaking her head and clearing her throat, she spoke again, louder and clearly. "What would you like to do?"

"It's still your decision, if you can make one. A change of scenery would be nice though, don't you think?"

She nodded. "I want to go to London. I can't believe we've been here a week and not been yet."

"Yeah, I didn't expect us to be here so long. London it is."

"I guess this means we should get up... Do you want the shower first or can I go?"

"You can," Edward said, finally letting go of his nose. "And there's no hurry. Do you want me to order breakfast while you're in there?"

"Yes, please," she said and she vanished into the bathroom.

Edward flopped back down and pressed two fingers to his nose again, wincing.

When Bella emerged from the bathroom fifteen minutes later, Edward was bent over his suitcase by the opposite wall. He heard the door open but didn't turn around.

"Finished?" he asked.

She mumbled something affirmative and Edward heard her feet brushing against the carpet as she wandered over to him. He couldn't just feel her behind his shoulder; he could also smell her - strawberries, sweet almost to the point of being sickly, but much like home. It was superlative. She was superlative. He turned as he thought this and nearly dropped his armful of clothes.

She was standing there, blush blossoming below where the towel covered - and it covered less than he'd ever seen of her before – with wayward wet hair clinging to her shoulders and spread out at all angles, hands clutched over her chest out of some combination of modesty and practicality.

He stopped dead and tried desperately to keep his jaw and eyes up.

"I didn't take any clothes in," she said, eyes on the ground. Edward turned around again, hoping she hadn't seen him gape, and mumbled a foul string of curses to himself. He scooped the easiest armful of clothes he could reach from the suitcase and retrieved the wash bag from the floor. Bella had moved to the other side of the room.

"I-it's fine," he said, arranging the load of clothes in his arms. "I'll be back in a few minutes." He started towards the bathroom but stopped and turned to her with a grin. "And I'll knock before I come out."

She was florid from head to toe, and Edward bit his lips together to hold in a laugh, or maybe a cry. He wasn't sure. He didn't look back.

Emerging from the bathroom twenty minutes later - it was a long, leisurely shower - he found her sat cross-legged on the bed with a book in her lap and her hair obscuring her face, dripping over her legs.

"So, what's the plan?" he asked.

She closed the book with a start. "You didn't knock," she said, not looking up.

"Yeah… sorry. I forgot."

She shrugged.

"Sorry." He sat beside her and tried to look at the cover of the book, but she turned it over and placed her hand over the blurb, the spine tucked against her stomach. "So what did you want to do?"

"What is there to do?" she asked. "All the touristy stuff, obviously, but what else? Anywhere you'd like to go? And how're we going to get there?"

"Train."

"I guess."

"We could have more fun without the car, and it's not like we'd really be able to drive with the traffic in the center of the city." An idea occurred to him, and Edward grinned. "Actually, let's take the car. We still have a week, right?" Bella nodded, looking at Edward for the first time since the towel incident. "Let's check out of here and head down to London, and just stay there. It'll be easier to do the coastal stuff from a little closer to the coast."

Bella smiled, thinking for a moment. "Um, okay."

"One more thing," Edward said.

Bella was packing as she answered. "What's that?"

"One night, if the weather's nice, can we camp out somewhere?"

"I'd rather not. I hate camping," Bella said, looking back at her book, running her fingers over the edge of the pages and her thumbs over the embossed text above the blurb, then tucking it into the suitcase.

"It might be fun. Just one night? Please?" He drew out the word, pouting like a child. Bella knew he was mostly trying to make her laugh.

"Maybe."

"What's the condition?"

She shrugged. "I don't know yet. I already own you. I'll think of something. Come on, I want to get going, and you're messier than me. Get packing."

Edward stretched out across the bed. "I'm faster than you. I could have a nap then get up and pack and I'd still be done first."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I don't think so."

"I do. Wanna bet?"

"Sure, but what's the prize?"

Edward shrugged, grinning. "I'll think of something."

Edward won.

*

They were stationary in traffic. They were riding one of the red, open-top London tour buses. Bella was sat on the outside seat, squinting out over central London, and Edward was at her side with dark sunglasses and his nose in a book. The tour guide hadn't spoken for a while. Bella broke the silence.

"Tell me about your family."

Edward looked up from the travel guide he'd been reading. "What?"

"Tell me about your family," Bella repeated.

"No, I got that. I mean, what do you want to know?"

"Well… tell me about your parents. Your father's a doctor?"

"Yeah. My mom's a housewife, but she dabbles with interior design. She does favours for friends, and sometimes their friends."

"And what about your brother?"

"Runs a garage with his Rose. That's how they met, actually."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Rose loves anything with an engine and was working at Emmett's since it opened. She didn't take his bullshit, and he loved it."

Bella laughed. "There have got to be some great stories there."

"Yeah, but Emmett's better at telling them. He's a pretty good storyteller. You remember, from our wedding dinner?"

"Yeah. Oh, he and Alice were lethal together."

"You'd think they were the siblings, not me and Emmett."

"Do you two get along?"

"Most of the time." Edward smiled at a memory. "He pisses me off sometimes, but he's honest and funny and I don't think I've ever heard him say a bad thing about anyone without good reason."

"Seriously?"

"Well, no. But you get the idea. Nice guy, hilarious. A good brother."

"Any stories there?"

"Well, he drove in from Portland to get me drunk for my twenty-first birthday. That was an interesting night."

Bella laughed again, but before she could ask for specifics, the tour guide directed their attention to another grey building and Edward asked, "Want to get off?"

He was already tucking the guide book back into his bag, and when Bella nodded, he led the way down the stairs and off the bus.

"What do you say to us exploring for ourselves now?" he asked.

"Sounds like a plan." Bella forgot to ask about Edward's twenty-first again.

*

"Oh, Alice will be _so _jealous," Bella said, grinning up at the sign over the front door. Edward had pointed it out earlier in the day and they'd doubled back after lunch. Harrods.

"You'll just have to get her a present."

"From here? Are you kidding? I probably couldn't afford anything."

"You wouldn't spend money on securing your best friend's eternal love?"

"Kind of hoping I have that anyway."

Edward shrugged. "We can still window shop."

Bella grinned. "Okay."

Inside, Bella and Edward were awed by the enormity of the store and the opulence of the décor.

"Did you know this place had England's first escalator?" Edward asked.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and they gave customers brandy at the top to help them recover from their 'ordeal'."

Bella smiled. "Where do you learn this stuff?"

"I'm just a superior being, Bella. You should have learned that by now."

Bella shoved him, and laughed when he had to twirl to avoid a display of very expensive watches.

"Okay, sorry. The guide book." He waved it at Bella. "Full of trivia. But _no_, you won't let me have my fun."

He grinned. Bella moved to shove him again. He sidestepped.

"I think we should find our way to a less fragile environment."

Bella giggled. "Disposable cameras?"

"Definitely."

*

Their second day was spent with the more intellectual landmarks of the tourist circuit. They spent the day ambling from place to place – the Natural History Museum, the British Library, the National Portrait Gallery – and Edward asked question after question about Bella's interests. She returned each of them.

Edward found that Bella liked to read. She had been an English major at college and had been using fiction to escape reality since she was a child. Edward pressed her on how far her reading influenced her writing and she laughingly referred to their past discussion that all writers borrow.

Bella found out that Edward was a musician, and a melody was like air to him. He was forever tapping a rhythm or humming a tune and whenever Bella looked at him, he would stop. When she pointed it out, he shrugged and changed the subject. The next time, he kept tapping with a smirk.

Finally, having had enough of the intellectual pursuits, Edward dragged an easily unnerved Bella through the London Dungeon, laughing where she cringed. She confessed half way round that blood made her faint. Edward jokingly reminded her it was fake, and there was history there if she wanted to look for it.

They ended their day with a leisurely dinner and then Bella excitedly dragged Edward to see The Lion King on the West End, enthralled by the interactivity of the show, the creatures coming out into the aisles. In the interval, Bella had confessed that when the Disney movie first came out she watched it every day and could still repeat it word for word. Edward smirked. He had done similar, but with Beauty and the Beast five years earlier, being that little bit older than Bella.

And then he sang Disney classics at her all the way home.

*

"There's one thing I'm _really_ not looking forward to when we get home," Bella said as they stood in line beside the Thames for tickets to a cruise and onto the London Eye on their third evening in London.

"Just one?" Edward teased.

Bella laughed. "Okay, maybe not, but neither of us should be looking forward to you meeting my father. No, I mean the paperwork."

Edward grimaced. "Paperwork?"

"Yeah," Bella said. "Things to do with changing my name - Social Security, driving license, _work … _that kind of thing."

"Oh. Not fun, then."

"No. Not at all."

"How do you think they'll react at work, if you change your name?"

"I don't know. I guess I could be one of those women who keeps their maiden name in their career. It would certainly save a lot of hassle."

"You're ashamed of me?" Edward pouted at her, but his stomach still clenched, just in case.

"No, it's not that," Bella said. "It's more… well, they're not always the easiest people to work with. This would just make things more difficult."

"You shouldn't worry about what they have to say, Bella. You're wonderful."

"Stop it," Bella warned. "I know I shouldn't worry, but…" She trailed off. Edward pressed her forward. She shook her head and peered over his shoulder. "We're near the front of the line."

Edward glanced behind him. "So we are. Doesn't mean you can change the subject. What's work like for you, Bella?"

"Can we maybe not talk about it now? Later?"

"We keep saving everything important until later. That's going to have to be a productive flight home if we carry on like this."

Bella looked at anything that wasn't his face. "Please."

Edward, briefly imagining his brother taunting him for being whipped, relented. "Later," he sighed. They were the next customers now.

*

Inspiration struck Edward on the London eye, standing behind Bella as she effectively had her nose to the glass, looking out over the London skyline. She was outlined by sunlight, almost glowing.

Edward squeezed her sides and she jumped back into him. "What was that for?"

He shrugged, grinning. "Just 'cos." He stood close behind Bella, one arm around her waist, until they were at the top. Then he spun her round to face him.

Quickly, before he could talk himself out of it, Edward ducked in and pressed his lips to Bella's. At first, he squeezed his eyes shut like a boy having his first kiss, begging to any deity that would listen to make her respond, and then she did.

It wasn't a long kiss, or desperately passionate, but it was warm and lingering and comfortable. It had a lot in common with the kiss from their wedding day, but magnified. The sparks were now a current Edward could feel in his veins, and it wasn't nearly as soft. Bella wrapped her arms around Edward's neck while his tightened around her waist, but they pulled apart when Bella caught another passenger staring.

Edward leaned down and moved his lips against Bella's ear. "Pervert. Ignore him." He smiled, and she could feel it. She pressed her face into Edward's shoulder and laughed.

*

"What _was_ that?" Bella asked, still bright red as they stepped out of the pod.

Edward shrugged. "I don't know. It was just overdue."

"What happened to platonic? To just friends?"

"Well, that was your idea. I just agreed to it. Up 'til then, I'd really been letting you lead. Anyway, friends kiss."

Bella shoved him jokingly. "They don't like that."

"Well, I've had one or two questionable friends then," he said, laughing. Bella shoved him again. "Okay, not really… Well, I have. But not like that."

"Shut up, Edward. Stop digging."

"'Kay. Anyway, we were going to have to have a first real kiss sometime, and that was as good a place as any, and you seemed to be enjoying it…"

Bella sighed. "Okay, you're right. And that was kind of awesome."

"Me or the ride?" Edward asked, grinning again.

Bella snorted. "Oh, definitely not you." She moved a little faster to dodge, but Edward was faster. When he caught up, he grabbed Bella round the waist and forced her to a standstill.

She giggled and tried – not hard enough – to pry herself free. "What?" she laughed, hands around his wrists.

Edward smiled into the side of her neck from behind. Bella could feel his teeth between his parted lips against her skin and, somehow, it wasn't gross.

"That was mean," he said. "And you know it's not true."

"What? That you weren't awesome?"

"Mmm." His grin grew, and then she thought he kissed her again. Her next words were dazed.

"Okay, well, maybe you were. I just… um…"

"I was going to tell you something, but then you said that, so now I won't."

"What? Tell me."

Edward laughed now. "I meant to tell you while we were in the pod, but that creepy guy was staring at us. But I think the moment's gone…"

"No, it hasn't."

"Yes it has. It's been built up too much now. I won't say it."

"Oh, please. Tell me…"

"You _really_ want to know?" Edward teased. He was finally showing her that smile he'd used on the strawberry lady.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Just say it, Edward."

He stole a cheeky kiss, then pressed his forehead against hers. "I was going to say… well, I think I could love you."

Bella turned red, then white, then blank. "Oh." She pulled away from him, her routine tactical retreat, but the corners of her lips twitched. "Okay," she said, but she didn't say it back.

Edward still felt it was a victory.

*

"Bella?"

"Mmm?"

They were wandering the tourist circle again the next morning, and had started with the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace. Making their way back towards the Thames and all the world famous sights, Edward brought up an awkward but overdue topic.

"What was your last serious relationship? I mean, before this one?"

Bella shrugged. "I guess it was a while ago. He was a dickhead. I got dumped. Alice made me move on. I dated. It was a disaster. Now there's you." She grinned at him.

"That's… not that scary."

"I don't know. You weren't there," she teased. "What about for you?"

"One, ever. About five years ago. Ended _very_ badly."

"How?"

Edward hissed. "I… I'd rather not say."

"Oh… okay. Anything I should know? Like, is she bitter and going to try and scare me off, or..?"

"No, not that. But something."

"What?"

"Now's not a good time… Later?"

Bella shrugged. "'Kay."

*

Bella was in the shower in the en suite bathroom when Edward's cell phone rang. His eyes rolled instinctively when he saw the number, and then he answered.

"Seth," he said. "What can I do for you?"

"Hey, Edward. How are things?"

"Not bad. We're getting along kind of well, actually."

"Is Bella there?"

"She's in the shower."

"Oh. Well, that's okay. I guess I only _really_ need to talk to one of you. I'm sorry to be calling you so late, but Jake just told me he needs it for this evening's show…"

"It's okay. It's not that late. We just got back from dinner."

"Where are you?"

"London."

"Oh, nice. I'm kind of jealous right now. Better than you expected?"

"The country or Bella?"

"Both, I guess."

"Is this an interview?"

Seth paused. Edward heard him clear his throat. "_Kind_ of."

"What do you mean, 'kind of'?"

"Just that I have to pass some of this on to Jake later. The listeners want an update on how your honeymoon's going."

"Well, I'll say that the country's nice. There's far too much to do. You should've sent us for three weeks, maybe a month."

Seth laughed. "I wish. Our sponsors aren't _that_ kind. But I guess that means you and Bella are getting along?"

"Most of the time," Edward said. "We fight sometimes, but nothing major."

"And how's the romantic side of your relationship going?"

Edward's face turned stony, and now just because of the unwelcome question. The shower had stopped in the other room.

"I'm not commenting on that, Seth. That's kind of private."

"But that's kind of the point of the whole feature."

"I'm still not telling you anything without her consent."

"Does that mean there's _something_?" Seth asked.

Edward could tell he was teasing, but was still frustrated. "I'm not commenting on it."

Seth laughed again. "Oh, come on, Edward. Have you at least _kissed_ her?"

"If this conversation doesn't make a U-turn right now, I'm hanging up Seth."

He was met with a sigh. "Fine. I'm taking that as a yes. Jake might twist the truth a little, but I'll see what I can do to rein him in, express your concerns to Sam. Can I ask some different stuff instead?"

"Maybe." Edward's voice was tighter now. He could hear Bella stumbling around in the bathroom and he was imagining her pale skin, flushed the colour of the dress she had been wearing when they went to dinner earlier that evening. He pictured how she had looked in that dress, and how she might look now without it, and he tried with great effort to force his attention back to Seth. "What?"

"What are your plans for when you get home?"

"Like what?"

"Well, is Bella moving in with you? Are either of you changing anything to accommodate the other? What are your general plans?"

"We haven't talked about any of that yet."

"Oh." Seth paused. Edward sat up and rolled the muscles in his neck. They were cramping from reclining in an awkward position. Seth continued, his voice quieter. "You really should, you know."

"I know," Edward said. He was quiet too, matching Seth's tone and cautious that Bella would emerge soon. "She freezes, whenever I try. Says we can talk later."

"You should talk soon. Not necessarily big things like life ambitions and starting a family and whatever – it is a bit soon for that, but where you're living and whatever. You need to get the big stuff discussed now while she doesn't have the opportunity to run away."

"I know."

Edward had a hand clutching his hair when Bella opened the bathroom door and emerged in her pyjamas, a balled up towel clutched to her chest. He had been counting the list of things they had to talk about, now well into double figures.

"Who's on the phone?" she asked, her silhouette lit by the brighter light behind her in the doorway. Edward squinted.

"Seth," he said.

"Yeah?" Seth said, on the phone.

"Not you," Edward said. "Bella's done in the bathroom. She wanted to know who I was talking to."

"Oh, well that's great. Can I talk to her?"

"If she wants to talk to you."

"Ask?"

Edward sighed and looked over at Bella. She had finally stepped into the room and was spreading her towel over a heater to dry.

"Want to talk to Seth?" Edward asked.

"Sure," Bella said. She shrugged and walked over, holding out her hand for the phone. She took it and plopped down beside Edward. He wound an arm around her waist. With her head on his shoulder, he was close enough to hear their conversation.

"Hey Seth," Bella said.

"'Sup, Bella? How're things?"

"Good, thanks. And in Port Angeles?"

"Same old, same old."

Bella smiled. "That's reassuring to know. So… why'd you call?"

"Just wondering how things are. Jake was going to update people on how things were going on the show, and asked me to do his dirty work. He's busy or something."

"Oh." Bella's smile fell, and Edward frowned in reflection. "What did Edward tell you?"

"Nothing," Seth sighed. "I guess that means you won't either."

Bella looked up at Edward and their eyes met. He was smiling slightly, and something flashed in his eyes. Bella grinned. "Nope," she said. "Whatever Edward said will do."

"Alright." Seth laughed suddenly.

"What?" Bella asked.

"At least we can tell you trust him. And you do realise Jake will twist every tiny detail until he has the whole peninsula convinced you two are more passionately in love than Romeo and Juliet, right?"

Bella groaned. "Please, don't let him. Ask him really nicely to just… be nice."

Seth laughed again. "I can try. He won't listen, though. I've got to go – see you soon, Bella."

"'Night, Seth."

She hung up and tossed the phone back to Edward. After folding her dirty clothes carefully back into the suitcase, she settled in the bed next to Edward. He was looking down at her.

"Bella, I really need to tell you something."

"Can it wait, Edward? I'm tired."

Edward moved to his knees at her side and wrapped his hand around her arm. "Please?"

"Tomorrow, Edward." She shrugged off his grip and rolled over to snuggle into her pillow. With a sigh, Edward relented and let her sleep.

* * *

**Notes**

Kyrene owns me, southerngirl915 makes me laugh, Miss-Beckie-Louise inflates my ego. Rehab keeps me sane and answers hangover-related questions because I don't drink wine. Jezzeria and Frenchbeanz distracted me writing with their one-shot gifts, _Christmas Cards _and _Validation_. La Tua Cantante 83 writes _Best Laid Plans_ and tortures my sniffly, masochistic inner fangirl. WC ladies deserve hugs and some of my Southern Comfort.

Oh - **The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Cullen contest**, where we challenge you to write a fic based on Robert Louis Stevenson's novella, _The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_, or any of the books/movies/musicals based on it. Entries earn much love and endless pimping. And they're fun - Creepyhotward is currently waltzing with Maidella through my mind. My example fic will be here around the time of the next chapter - this time next week. Link's on my profile.

Kyrene wants to see your theories regarding that not-quite-a-cliffhanger, so she made a Twilighted thread, and the link's on my profile. I just want to see your pretty words; you have no idea how they make me smile. But if I made _you_ smile, I'm happy already.


	7. Chapter 7

**Blind Faith**

**Disclaimer**

_Twilight_ and its characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended and all creative rights to these characters belong to their original author. No profit is being made from this story.

Based very loosely on a true story, shamelessly extrapolated and mutilated and moved to the other side of the Atlantic.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

The next morning, they both completely forgot about Edward's failed confession. Bella had noticed something.

"Edward," Bella said. "We're… we're nearly out of money."

"Really?" Edward said. He didn't even look up from the magazine he was leafing through as he waited for her to finish getting ready. "I'm not surprised."

"Aren't you? I thought you were budgeting."

"Not really. I thought we could just have fun. We've got money left for what we need, you know. We're not going to starve or have to sleep in the car or anything like that. I just didn't want to have to worry about things like that so much."

"That's really irresponsible."

"We're newlyweds, Bella, on a honeymoon on another continent. There's no better time _to _be irresponsible."

Bella shook her head.

"Look at it this way - have you had fun?"

She glared at him.

"Just answer the question." He enunciated each word. "Have you had fun?"

"Yes," Bella admitted, rolling her eyes.

"Then it was worth it." He shrugged. "We have enough money to be comfortable, if not extravagant, for the last two days, and then we can head home and carry on with real life, not at all worse off."

"Are you this irresponsible at home?" Bella asked.

"Not really. I don't have a strict budget, but I don't always spend more than I have."

"But you do sometimes?"

"Well, yeah. Who doesn't?" Edward shrugged.

"I don't."

"I'm not surprised. You seem so damn parsimonious anyway. Why?"

"I just don't like wasting money," Bella said.

Edward had noticed. "So spend it on worthwhile things…"

"I want to. That's why I'm saving."

"What are you saving for?"

Bella smiled, despite the situation. "I want to really travel, to see the world, and then settle somewhere that I've fallen in love with."

"So you deny yourself all the fun in the world now, all so you can maybe travel later on?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. It's the only way I'll get to do it."

"It's stupid," Edward said.

Bella flushed red, but not in embarrassment. "It's _stupid_?" she asked. Edward's brow furrowed. "I live happily with my two best friends, I work hard, and every month I can see I'm getting closer to my goal. Does that seem that stupid?"

"Good for you, but it's not for me."

Bella huffed. "So what do you spend your money on that's so damn important?"

Edward shrugged. "Stuff."

"See? You're a hypocrite; you can't even tell me what you do with your wages. You have two jobs, and yet you still spend your money on crap."

Finally, Bella saw flickers of the temper Rosalie had warned her about. His voice was low and his eyes narrowed. "Don't judge me, Isabella. That's dangerous."

"And don't you judge me. That's dangerous too." She fled into the bathroom with a slam.

*

After several minutes of brisk conversation through the bathroom door – Edward wouldn't apologise for his lifestyle just for an easy life, but she did make him apologise for the "stupid" comment - Bella realised she was being irrational, and they packed up and left.

They checked out of the hotel and took their things down to the car parked under the building, but headed into the city for one last tour, to catch things they'd missed. The markets were first, where Bella picked up a thing or two for Alice and her mother with what she had budgeted for gifts. For lunch, Edward dragged a quietly glowering Bella into McDonalds. She rolled her eyes and smothered a laugh when he joked that it was the best they could afford. Finally, it was the early evening and Edward was opening the passenger door to their car for Bella.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Remember I said we were going camping?"

"Yeah…" Bella was hesitant. "Now? We don't even have a tent."

"I didn't think we'd bother with that. The weather's nice tonight, and it's set to stay that way, so let's just go be impulsive. You were telling me just two days ago that you wanted to be more spontaneous. So here we are. Being spontaneous."

Bella sighed. "Do we have to?"

"Remember I won that bet, in the hotel near Stratford? Well, this is me claiming my prize. We're going camping."

"Fine."

She sulked in the passenger seat as Edward drove them south.

*

Two hours later, Bella was laughing as she sprinted up the beach from the seafront, clutching a towel around her shoulders like a cape. She fell to her knees in front of Edward, who was poking at their makeshift fire. It wasn't very impressive.

"Having fun, love?" he asked.

She laughed and nodded. "It's so pretty out here, and it's been so long since I've been on a warm beach, even if it is a little damp."

"And it's quiet, and the sun will set soon. Get dried off and come sit with me?"

Bella leaned forward to kiss his cheek, then took off laughing again with her bag of clothes and cape. When she returned, Edward had their other towels spread across the sand, windbreakers erected around them, and was laying with his eyes closed by the fire.

His eyes opened when he heard her feet parting the sand and cracking shells under their weight, and watched through squinting eyes as she crept towards him, all tousled hair and creamy legs. "You're beautiful," he said when she stopped in front of him, and she blushed.

"Stop it."

"You're beautiful," he said again, and Bella sat down, not meeting his eye and red-cheeked.

"What's the plan, Edward?" she asked.

"Plan? We don't need a plan on a night like tonight, Bella. It's beautiful, we have the place all to ourselves, the sky is as clear as you could imagine. We could stay all night if we wanted to." He took the towel she had discarded with her clothes and wrapped it around her shoulders. "I don't imagine the tide will come in much further. So let's just sit and enjoy the sunset, then… I don't know. Something."

"That sounds like a plan."

Edward took her hand. "No, Bella, it's not a plan. It's just us."

*

They did stay for a few hours. The sun had set and they'd watched the sky transform from a blazing orange into its current velvet blue.

"It's getting cold," Edward said. His eyes weren't on the stars. They were on his wife. With the help of the flickering golden light of the fire, he could see goosebumps rising on her skin.

"I know," she said. "But it's not that cold yet."

"Come here," he said, tugging on her hand. They had been lying on their respective towels, just holding hands between them, for half an hour. Edward pulled Bella to roll into the gap between them. "They say that sharing body heat is the best way to conserve it."

Bella giggled and moulded herself into his side. Edward wrapped an arm around her and their fingers intertwined again over his heart. Edward grinned down at Bella.

"Beautiful, no?"

"The sky? Definitely."

"I meant you, Bella."

"Edward, stop being so cheesy, and such a… tease."

"I'm glad that you thinking I'm lying isn't the first thing you say any more. I'm not teasing at all really, but at least you're starting to have a little more faith in me."

"Don't, Edward. If there's one thing you've learned over the last two weeks, it's not to say stuff like this."

"I disagree," Edward said. Bella was worried by his smirk. "The one thing I've definitely learned is that you're beautiful when you're pissed with me."

He laughed, and Bella slapped his chest with her free hand. "Stop it, Edward. This really isn't funny."

"Oh, I hope not. It's not meant in jest, dear Bella."

Bella shook her head, lay down again, and tried to distract herself with the stars. She failed. They relapsed into silence for quite a while. Edward was hesitant to spoil the moment, but it felt like it was his last chance.

"Bella?"

"Mmm?"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Sure. I'm listening." She had her eyes closed, her attention more on the sound of the waves than his voice.

"This is serious, Bella."

"Oh." She opened her eyes, saw that e meant it, and rolled to face him. "What is it?"

"I… I really should have put this on my application. I should have made it perfectly clear, at least out of fairness, but…"

"But what, Edward? You know you can tell me." She leaned up on her elbow and pressed her other hand to his cheek. Edward couldn't look at her. He closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them again, he met her gaze. He had to see her reaction.

"I… I can't have kids."

The next silence was long, and far less comfortable than before. It was like their first day again, but sharper, more dangerous. Instead of standing at the edge of a cliff, they were balancing on a knife edge, and Bella was about to let Edward fall alone.

"Oh," Bella said at last. She'd rolled away from Edward and sat up. She was still facing him, but her eyes were on her fingers, twisting together in her lap.

Edward sat up too but didn't reach out to touch her, although a hand involuntarily crept into the space between them. It was there if she wanted to pull him back up while he clawed his way up by his fingernails. "I'm sorry, Bella, I really am. I should have told you before, I should've said in my application, I should-"

"Yes, you should have, Edward," Bella snapped. Edward opened his mouth to keep apologising, but Bella held up a hand to stop him. "Just… shut up a minute, okay?"

Edward didn't even nod. He dropped his eyes too. The night was suddenly too loud; he wanted everything else quiet and still, because if the world was quiet enough, perhaps he could listen for Bella's thoughts.

"That's why you asked me if I wanted children, isn't it? On the first day?"

Edward nodded. Not offering a verbal answer made Bella look up, and he followed suit. Although her face was lifted, she wouldn't meet his gaze.

"And last night, when you wanted to tell me something?"

He nodded again, and this time Bella caught it in the corner of her eye.

"I'm pretty sure this gives away too much about what I expect from, well, this." She waved a hand between them. "But what you just told me… it doesn't bother me. I mean, it's a shock, but… I don't know. This is weird, a weird situation, a weird conversation… I think that, if I loved a man enough, I could settle for not having children, as long as I had _him_. But this is another situation entirely…"

"I'm sorry, so sorry."

"What are you apologising for?"

"Well, for this."

"_This_ isn't your fault. Leaving it two weeks to tell me in person, and not telling anyone before? That is. It's really kind of crucial, Edward. Did it not even cross your mind that it was really fucking relevant?"

Edward flinched. "I guess… I guess it did. But I never expected to be picked, Bella. I didn't think it would ever really affect anyone, and it's not like I go round telling everyone I can, especially a bunch of psychologists or whatever that I've never met, that for some reason I'm incapable of... of doing what a man _should_ be able to do." Naturally, a hand was tangled in his hair and he relished in the tugging sensation at the roots.

Bella stilled it. "You're a dick for doing this, Edward, but stop torturing yourself. Um… _why _can't you have kids?"

"I don't know. They couldn't tell me. Just that it was me."

Bella's stomach clenched. There was a tightness in her throat that had been building since the first confession, but now it had reached a crescendo, as if somebody had taken all their tentative steps towards one another and thrust them down her windpipe. But she asked anyway. "You… as opposed to whom?"

"Well… you remember I told you I'd had that one serious relationship before?"

"Yes." She pulled at her lip with her teeth, fighting for words. "Her?"

"Her. Her name was Sasha, and she was a family friend. We went to the same college and stuck together for comfort in the first year when we didn't really know anyone. We dated for a couple of years, and then she told me she wanted kids. I really thought I loved her, and because I'd known her for years, I thought we'd still be together for a long time. So… we tried."

"And failed?"

"Yeah…" He squeezed his eyes shut, pinched the bridge of his nose. "We were young, but I was convinced we were right for one another. I thought I could handle a baby – I was working, we had our own place – and it would make her happy. After a year, she had us both tested. They couldn't tell us what was wrong, just that something was, and… she left me."

Bella took his hand. "I'm sorry…"

Edward shook his head and tugged his hand away. "I was stupid. Young, and stupid. And apparently I'm no more mature now than I was then. I'm _so _sorry I didn't tell you, Bella…"

"It's okay, Edward. If I loved a man, I could settle."

"But… do you?"

"I think I could love you." She ducked her head to smile at him and pressed the palm of one hand against his cheek.

Edward smiled at first, hearing his words echoed back at him, but then his face fell. "And if you can't?"

"Then the marriage won't last anyway, and it's a redundant question."

"I guess. I want to make this work though."

"Me too. But you can't keep things like that from me ever again, Edward. There's nothing else, is there?"

He shook his head. "No. That's it."

"Then I think I'll sleep now. We can talk more about it tomorrow?"

"If you want to."

"'Night, Edward."

"Goodnight."

*

A long time later, Bella spoke again.

"Edward?"

The sky was near black, speckled with silver pinpricks, and Bella hadn't actually been able to sleep in the end. Between the sand, raging surf and her tempestuous thoughts, it had been a futile attempt. Edward, however, had dozed off hours ago. Three, Bella counted. She tried again, nudging him.

"Edward?"

"Mmmm?" He groaned and rolled over to face her.

"I think the tide's still coming in."

"Oh." His eyes flickered open.

"I can hear it. It's closer. And it's really cold."

"Want to go?"

"Please."

"Alright then."

*

After an awkward night in the car, despite Edward's promise that it wouldn't happen, their last day was spent on the seafront in town and buying souvenirs. After taking their sand-dusted things up to a hotel room and just abandoning them in the corner, Bella dragged Edward by the hand back down to the beach, insisting it was too lovely to use the car, and there was no need for speed. Edward had clammed up since the night before, and Bella felt the need to compensate to fill the silences.

"I suppose you're right," Edward said quietly. "Back home, I drive everywhere."

"That's fair enough, but it's always _raining._ Here, it's beautiful and sunny and dry." She tugged his hand, moving faster. "So come on."

Eating fish and chips on a bench overlooking the beach, Edward folded his back in the paper and turned to Bella. "Are you really not that bothered?"

"What?"

"I mean, are you really not that bothered by what I told you yesterday? About, you know, um…"

"I know what you meant, Edward. I'm just curious about why you're bringing it up again."

"We didn't exactly deal with the issue."

"There's not a lot to deal with. You can't have kids, I said I'll deal with it. What else is there to say?"

"I just want to be sure that you're sure."

Bella folded her food away too. "Of course I'm not sure, Edward, but it's far too soon for that. I mean, every woman wonders about what it would be like to have a child, but it's not my life ambition or anything to raise a family. So, for now, I'll deal."

"But what about me?" Edward asked. "I've been left by one woman I loved because I couldn't give her this… I just don't want it to happen again."

"Are you trying to scare me away, Edward?" It was meant to be teasing, but the words were heavy in the air.

He sighed, buried his face in his hands. "Kind of, I guess," he mumbled. "I don't want to, but…"

"Stop it. I've stayed for two weeks now, haven't I?"

"But we're five thousand miles from home. How do I know you're not going to end this as soon as we're back?"

Bella wrapped her hands around Edward's wrists and pried them from his face. "I'm not going anywhere, Edward, really. You're going to have to do much better than this to scare me away."

"I really think I could love you, you know," he said, but it was quiet, without the gleaming hope from before.

"You've said." Bella's voice was soft in return, her fingers tracing patterns into his skin.

"I mean it."

"I know. And I think the same of you." She let go with one last squeeze of his hands. "But that might change if these go cold before I get chance to eat them," she said, unwrapping her lunch again. "Don't worry, Edward. We'll be fine."

*

That evening, they found a quiet guest house two roads back from the seafront and settled in for their final night.

Edward ghosted his hands over the curve of Bella's hips, a smile absently playing across his face. He was absorbed by his wife's silky warm skin under the T-shirt. Bella closed her eyes and melted into the pillow, the corners of her mouth slightly raised, her lips silently parted. She spread one hand across Edward's back and laced the other into his hair, drawing his head down. He obliged, pressing his chest against hers, hands still tracing her sides. His face nuzzled into the crook of her neck and brushed soft kisses over her skin. Bella could feel him smile against her shoulder.

She wound and tangled her fingers in his hair, caressing and teasing it, careful to avoid using her nails and keep the motions as tentative as his touch. They continued their carefree strokes for minutes, contemplating that it was their last night together in England, and possibly their last night alone at all for quite some time.

Bella was still mostly leading, and Edward was desperate for comfort in whatever form he could get it, so they had gone to bed together a little earlier than normal.

"Edward?" Bella murmured finally.

"Mmmm?"

"I think… I think I'm ready." She felt slightly stunned by her statement, but she believed it. It had been a long time since she'd felt warm towards a man who wasn't Jasper or her father, and the butterflies were enough to give her a little confidence. She supposed it was his patience, how kind he had been, how playful, despite their cold beginnings. And she realised that for him to admit what he did took courage she hadn't seen in him before, and implied that he trusted her. When she thought about it, maybe she did trust him in return. While Edward hesitated, her belief solidified. She moved her hand through his hair and to his cheek, enjoying the warmth and faint scratch against her palm.

Edward was definitely caught by surprise, although he tried to hide it. She'd been so tense with him almost all the time they'd known each other, and she was asking for this already?

His hands came to a gradual stop on her hips and she felt him exhale deeply on her neck before pulling away to read her face. His eyes were blank except for concentration as he read hers carefully. He nodded.

"Okay."

Bella smiled, but only a little. Edward's lips were forming words without sound as he tried to choose his words carefully. There was more coming.

"Just not tonight."

Bella frowned, not expecting that, and Edward reached one hand up to smooth her hair back and caress her cheek.

"I just want you to think about it a little longer, be absolutely certain. I don't quite believe you. This is _not_ the way to make me feel better, Bella." He sighed. "Anyway, I don't think _I'm_ ready yet."

"Oh." She pushed at Edward's shoulders and he rolled to the side. She twisted in the sheets to face him. Her insides were in knots too, braced for the impact of a rejection. "Um… can I ask why not?"

She trusted him, and she was ready to get it over with. Edward had trusted her with what was probably his greatest secret, and tipped the balance to make her want to offer her a part of herself. Which, apparently, he didn't want.

"It's like you were before – I'm just not ready. And I don't want to risk this yet."

"It's not you, it's me, right?"

"Exactly. Well…. kind of. Not entirely. You know what I mean, right?"

"I think so." She knew what he meant, even if she didn't believe it. Tears stung her eyes, and she tried to battle her insecurities, weigh them against his words, but he had lied to her before. "Look, if you don't like me that way, just say so. You really have to be honest with me, Edward. I've been lied to before, and I'd rather you just came out and said it."

"Said what?"

"Never mind." She rolled free and pulled the covers with her. Given their comfort over the last few days, Bella suggested they only had the one set in this final hotel. Edward wanted to push the discussion, but he thought he knew better.

It was a warm July night, and he fell eventually asleep on his side of the bed without a blanket, facing the other way, not acknowledging her shoulders shaking and occasional sniffing. And he felt like a douche for ignoring it.

*

The next morning, when the alarm went off, Edward groaned and fumbled to switch it off. Bella was already in the bathroom with the door closed behind her before Edward restored the quiet. The click of the lock would have been the first tolerable thing he heard all morning, but it stung.

Yawning, he stumbled to the other side of the room and started grabbing handfuls of his clothes and forcing them into his suitcase. It took the brunt of his rage leftover from being such an ignorant bastard the night before.

He'd worked out exactly what Bella had been upset about when she finally fell asleep. He had heard her, felt her covers shake, tickling his back, and he contemplated exactly what self-torture he could inflict without waking her up. In the end, insomnia reigned and Edward only slept an hour and a half, leaving most of his night occupied with self-flagellation for making her cry.

Bella had made it perfectly clear she didn't think she was attractive, and despite his efforts with her self-esteem she now thought he didn't want her. Edward didn't know how to make it right. He didn't really know what he'd done wrong, just that he had no idea what he was doing.

*

Bella barely spoke two words together all morning. She certainly said nothing unnecessary, spoke only when spoken to and not always then. They were at the airport, checked in and waiting to board, before Edward could even think where to start.

"Bella, about last night…"

"What about it?" Her eyes were still glazed, fixed on a rubber plant in the distance.

"I'm sorry. You jumped to a conclusion, that wasn't what I meant to say at all… I'm just worried about _us, _you know?"

Bella shrugged, shifting her eyes. She picked at the sandwich in her lap. "Why?"

"Well, it's only been two weeks. And we get like this. We don't talk about the problems we already have, so I don't want to go adding new ones." He sighed. "I don't know what to do."

"Wait. What problems do you think we have?" She was indignant, lifted her chin as she stared at him.

"You know, you're beautiful when you're angry," he said, smiling hopefully. He was deliberately pushing her. She looked away, and he sighed. "See? That's the first. You think I'm lying to you about things like that. You don't seem to have much… I don't know… self-esteem?"

Bella gaped for a moment, unable to form suitable words. Abandoning the attempt, she scrambled to her feet with her bag, preparing to flee, but Edward caught her wrist.

"And that's another. You don't talk to me, you run."

"I warned you I did that, before we even left Washington. Before we were even married."

"I know, but you've got to stop. I'm making an effort here. It might be uncomfortable, but we have to do it." He pulled at her sleeve, trying to get her to sit down. "Please, Bella?"

She sighed and pried his fingers away, slowly sitting back at his side. "Okay. I promise, as long as you don't do anything outlandish, that between now and us getting on the plane, I won't run."

"On the plane, you can't run," he taunted.

Bella didn't even smile. "True, but hopefully we can get this sorted before then." Tucking her sandwich into the front pocket of her rucksack and brushing back her hair with her fingers, she asked, "What are our other problems?"

"Apart from those two, it's where we're going to live, how you don't trust me… Um…"

"No problems with you, then? Just me, and _one_ mutual one?"

"I didn't say that."

"Yes you did. And trust me, there are plenty of problems on your side too."

"Like what?"

"Your self-loathing over the kids thing. It doesn't matter any more, Edward, not for a long time. You took your time telling me, and that's just one reason not to trust you, but-"

"Just one? How many reasons do you have?"

"Just… a few." Bella shook her head and pressed her fingers against her eyes. Her cheeks flushed with something other than chagrin for once. His lips were sealed until she answered. Her eyes burned. "Look, Edward, it's not explicitly _you_. You're not the only one with a history, and mine goes back twenty years. You lied by omission, yes, but that's it. The rest is baggage. You have yours, I have mine. Okay?"

Edward wasn't used to acidic Bella. "Yeah. Okay. Sorry. It's just an uphill battle, you know?"

"I don't think this was ever meant to be easy, Edward. Do you ever wonder if we were set up this way, to have these points of conflict? Like, the drama's going to keep people involved, interested? It's like a reality show, except it really is our life."

"Possibly, but they didn't know about Sasha – well, not the specifics. I was somewhat vague in the relationship history section."

"They probably read into that a little and guessed there was something there. I don't think we're meant to be a perfect match at all. I think we're meant to have a chance, sure, but with plenty of dramatics getting there."

"I think we have a chance. A good one."

"Do you now?"

"Yes. Really. See? We're talking."

She rolled her eyes. "We're not _that_ bad."

"But we would be, if neither of us changed a little." Edward shuffled so his knees faced her. "What else was there?"

"Kids, parents, what we're doing when we're home. I think."

"Kids… I don't _hate_ myself over that, Bella, I-"

"You certainly made it seem that way. You barely spoke to me yesterday, and then when I admitted something kind of embarrassing in return, you brushed it off as me trying to console you or something."

"You cannot possibly compare what you said to what I did."

"Yes, I can. It was difficult for me to say. What you said must have been near impossible. And we were both worried about the other's reaction."

Edward sighed. "Bella." He clenched and unclenched his fists, fingers stretching as if they could just transmit his thoughts to her. He could barely put them into words, and it was frustrating to lose his eloquence like this. "There is one superlative reason why I said no yesterday: I do not want to ruin this. There were others, yes, but they don't matter." Bella went to speak, inhaling and parting her lips, but Edward halted her with a raised hand. "And the one that you came up with all on your own? The one you _cried_ over? Absolute bullshit. The end."

"You heard me crying?" Bella asked. She fumbled for words now too.

Edward nodded. "I didn't know what to do. I didn't work it out 'til this morning though. It just didn't make sense, how you could think that."

"Think what?"

"That I didn't _want_ you, like that… Have you listened to nothing I've said to you?"

"Obviously not."

"I think you're beautiful." He sighed, tangled a hand in his hair. "Look, I know this might make you really uncomfortable, but remember your promise…" He inhaled. "I _do _want you, Bella. Stop being so damn… self-conscious. You have absolutely no reason to be." He fixed his eyes on hers. "At all."

Bella was trapped in his web for a moment, but forced herself free with a tear, head moving to the side, cheek pressed against her shoulder. Her eyes burned. She didn't know if it was the staring or the welling tears.

She tried to speak with many false starts. She uttered syllables, sometimes a whole word, but never a sentence. Edward took her hand. "Do you believe me yet?"

She turned back and shrugged. Seeing his narrowed eyes, it turned to a shy nod. When he smiled, she smiled back. Or at least attempted to.

Edward leaned forward to briefly press his lips to her temple, then let go of her hand. "I think we need a recess. I'll get us something to drink. Let's leave the rest until we're on the plane. This'll be a nice distraction from your nerves – and the flight's shorter this time."

A smile broke through on Bella's cloudy face, a grin with teeth and all. She needed to show him… something. "Thank you, Edward."

"No, Bella. Thank _you_."

*

On the flight home, they were a little more friendly than their first flight together. Edward had offered Bella an earbud and she was cycling through his iPod. Between them, they had equally maintained a conversation for the first hour, but when it naturally fizzled out for the first time, Bella finally bit the bullet and asked.

"So, what do you think we should do when we land?" Bella asked when she finally settled on an album – the singer they'd seen at their festival a week ago.

"Well, once we're out of here, we have to find my car, then we go back to Port Angeles. Then it's up to you. Do you want to go home, or come home with me?"

"Is that an invitation?"

"You have a permanent invitation, Bella, I guess. But I had the feeling you'd like to stay with Alice and Jasper a little while longer…"

"Yeah, if you don't mind…"

"It's not up to me, is it?" He laughed. "I didn't get the impression Alice was ready to give you up yet."

"So what are we going to do when we get home? I'm going to miss this."

Edward grabbed her hand that had been tapping along to the beat on the armrest between them. "Me too." He smoothed her fingers free from the fist they'd formed. "I guess we'd just hang out when I'm not working."

"What about when I'm not?"

"Well, when both of us aren't working. But I work a few evenings too, three or four a week."

"Oh… Weekends?" Bella asked.

"Sometimes, but that's overtime. I can say no."

"Yeah… But what about when we get back? I mean, straight away?"

"Whatever we want. We'll see. I do want you to meet my parents though, as soon as you can."

Bella blanched. Her voice was barely a squeak. "When?"

Edward laughed. "We have dinner on Sundays, so I guess next weekend if you're free…"

"And you haven't told your parents about this yet?"

"No, although I can't guarantee Emmett hasn't. Yours?"

"Not a word. Last time I spoke to Charlie was less than pleasant, and I left Renee two messages… At least we don't have to worry about her in person for a little while. She's in Jacksonville."

"Well, let's start with meeting Charlie then. How bad can it be?"

Bella laughed, nervously. Her free hand started tapping against the other armrest. "Very. My dad has a shotgun and a grudge against almost every body I ever dated. And he's a cop. You have nothing to hide, right?"

Edward shook his head, but something flickered in the back of his mind. "Nothing I haven't already told you, nope. I think you're more nervous than I am."

"I shouldn't be."

*

The flight passed easily enough, and customs surprised them both with how simple it was. No lost luggage, no searches. They found Edward's car quickly and were on the road back to Port Angeles in half the time they'd expected. When they neared the town, Bella pried her drooping eyes open to direct him to the home she shared with Alice and Jasper, and they sat in the dry car outside for a few minutes before getting out.

Edward helped Bella get her bags up the stairs, following a few paces behind her. He'd need to remember where she lived. When they were at the door, Bella refused to meet his eye. She had her keys in hand, and Edward guessed it was time for them to say goodbye.

"So… I'll call you?"

"Yeah," Bella said. Her eyes were still on her untied laces. She fidgeted, but didn't turn to unlock the door. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Bella?"

"Mmm?"

"Look at me." She did. Edward smiled. "The last two weeks have been… fun." When Bella's face fell slightly, Edward rapidly backtracked. "Well, not just fun. I mean, they've been completely incredible. I just wanted to say thank you, for giving me a chance." He kissed her cheek. "How about you call me whenever you're ready?"

Bella smiled. "Okay." She dropped the bag that had been slung over her shoulder and reached up to hug him, smiling. With her arms around his neck, she spoke into his shoulder. "Best vacation ever."

"Oh, I know."

"Thank you." She stretched up to kiss him properly. And while they were still tangled, the door opened.

* * *

**Notes**

And that's the precise moment where the real world rears its ugly head again… well, its _gremlin_ head, as it happens. We are officially 25% of the way through in terms of chapters, as my soon-to-be-largely-scrapped outline dictates.

Kyrene's my soulmate across the Atlantic, southerngirl915's the mate to my ma'am, and Beckie was four-year-old me's best mate. Kyrene made a Twilighted thread. The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Cullen contest has its first entry and is gagging for more; I'll soon be posting a one-shot as an example. All are/will be linked on my profile, but have the tentative summary:

_Example for the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Cullen contest, in which a young housemaid finds herself caught between the genial Dr. Masen and his licentious assistant Mr. Cullen._

The chapters from here should be a little shorter, for two reasons: first, there was a lot to cram into a few chapters to get the story and characters established; second, they should come a bit faster. I wonder how long I can keep the weekly updates up for.

If you liked my words – or if you didn't – feel free to leave your own, and you can have some more in return. I like words. A lot.


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